[Hayden1002]

Well its been a while since I posted on here so I'd thought I'd let you all know whats been happening.

As we already had our interview in October 05 and our CO, Patricia Billet(really nice person) said that yes she would recommend us for a visa, we were pretty chilled.
We had a baby on the way, Amelia born 22/12/05, so we couldn't finish all our paperwork til she was born, no problem!

Had to get my wifes ex husband to agree to let Katie, my step-daughter come with us. Had a meeting with him which seemed to go pretty well only for him to say No a few days later. Problem!

Had long discussion with my wife over this and she said to remove Katie from the application. Now before you all go off on one about how you could never leave your kids behind she explained her thinking to me.
She said that as Katie is at present 7 1/2 and realistically we have 3 1/2 years from receiving approval letter to having to finally settle, this would make Katie 11. She reckons that by then that Katie will know in her own mind whether she wants to come or not and that her dad will have to honour her request, as will we if she doesn't want to come.
She also reckons that now she has a sister it will make her more determined to come with us.
So we have come to the decision to remove her from our application, so that we can still get visa's as we are already well within the system. We will then have to take, what could be a heartrendering, decision in a few years from now. If she wants to come we will just reapply for her visa.

Now I know it sounds a little harsh to do this but as I only ever had, or am likely to get, 100 points it is the only way to continue.
As the points have gone up, even 5 points is beyond me. We will never get another chance me thinks.

Have we committed a cardinal sin? Will my wife ever leave if Katie can't come, time will tell but at least by doing it this way we still have the chance to find out.

Any thoughts, suggestions or comments?

Cheers
Hayden
PS If you need a police certificate from the Royal Brunei Police ignore what it says in the NZIS leaflet and contact the High Commision. This caused us quite a delay.

[Smiler]

Hayden

Congratulations on the new baby :cheers

Well that sounds like you have made a very sensible decision. :nice1 It's amazing what a difference time can make, maybe not just Katie but the ex too.

I can't answer the 'will my wife ever leave' question objectively for you, I'm sorry. I left my son behind and even the fact that he is 20 doesn't make it stop hurting.

I guess what I am saying is don't give up on your dream, you will get here one way or another. It's a bumpy ride but NZ will always be here waiting for you, however long your decisions take to come to fruition.

Good luck and keep posting.

Deborah

[PaulandHelen]

I agree with with smiler, i think your doing the right thing.
p+h

[wilson182]

Hi Hayden

I think you and your wife have made quite a sensible decision...maybe her ex was just trying to throw a spanner in the works anyway, and once he realises that, as a family, the four of you will continue to live your life he may change his mind. (or maybe I have just been made too cynical from my experiences with my OH ex...) Anyway, it wasn't an easy decision to come too, and IMHO you have done the best thing....
Good Luck

[willsken]

Yes, I agree with the others. You are doing the right thing as this will be your only chance. Better do this now and change your mind later when it is still YOUR choice :yes

[KD17]

I also agree with your decision - you have to make you own life and as my daughter said to me, this is my dream, not hers and we all have to live our own dreams - which may not be the same.

I still may have to leave my daughter behind (she's 19 in May) and I can't say that it doesn't cross my mind if I can physically board that plane when we finally get to go (despite the wise words of wisdom re our dreams). But I do know that ultimately I will be giving her a better life because she can always join us at any time, which gives her an option to life that she would not otherwise have.

Good Luck and congratulations on your new baby. :clap


Keith & Debby

[Hayden1002]

Update from the Williams household!!!
(I know, I haven't posted for ages but you know what it's like......)
Well, the Royal Brunei Police certificate is a joke. They (the High Commision in London) cashed the cheque in January. Still not received it.
High Commision rang and said its all done will be with you soon, in middle of March. March came and went oh so did April and May!
Got a few emails from our CO asking state of play, explained to her what was said. No problem from NZIS end.
Finally got fed up and wrote out a statatory declaration took it to my solicitor and sent it off to NZ House.
A week later "approval in principle" letter and some originals sent to house. I was out so wife rang NZ House and asked if it was PR or WTR. PR :)
Still not got Brunei Police cert.

Anyway we plan to leave it til late on to send in the passports (no rush on our part) then go out late next year to activate them and come back and plan the move in slow time. Hopefully then Katie will make her own mind up and decide one way or the other whether she wan'ts to come with us or stay with her dad. time will tell.

[Smiler]

Hi Haydon

Thanks for the update, was wondering about you.

Congratulations on the PR. :raebanana:raebanana:raebanana

Time will tell as you say, but NZ will still be here and you will have had the luxury of time for Katie to grow and make the decision.

Will she come with you on a holiday next year?

Good luck in all your plans
D x

[willsken]

Congratulations on getting PR. Great to hear things are going according to plan :nice1

[Nienke]

:clap Good news! Congratulations!

[Hayden1002]

Again it's been ages since the last post and I can only say sorry.......we've been wrapped up in our own little world.

But we got our passports back today with the nice, shiny stickers in them:)
It took a bit longer than it should've done due to some of the problems you can read about on the previous page, and we left it to the last minute to send off the money.

We have to be there by next Nov and have decided to go on hols to activate the visas and then go a year or so later.

All in all, BIG, BIG smiles in our house

[Hannah]

Well done Hayden, you've done the right thing and you have nothing to lose by keeping your options open.
great to hear that things have gone to plan so far. Your stepdaughter's 11th birthday is some way off now and I think you simply have to cross that bridge when you come to it. At least you will have a real choice then, rather than a 'wouldn't it be nice if'.
Thanks for keeping us all updated, and well done on getting PR!!!
hannah

[Smiler]

Hi Hayden

Thant's good news. Congratulations :raebanana:raebanana:raebanana

Look forward to hearing that youll be arriving for your hols. Please keep us posted. :nice1

[kiwidebs]

Congrats Hayden and family :raebanana :raebanana :raebanana


Debs

[Helsandfamily]

Congratulations hayden family

What a christmas pressie (1 month early)

:clap :raebanana :clap

Hels

[willsken]

Congratulations, nice to see things are still going well for you. :raebanana

[Tate6]

I still may have to leave my daughter behind (she's 19 in May) and I can't say that it doesn't cross my mind if I can physically board that plane when we finally get to go (despite the wise words of wisdom re our dreams). But I do know that ultimately I will be giving her a better life because she can always join us at any time, which gives her an option to life that she would not otherwise have.

Keith & Debby

Congrats Hayden and Family!
And I absolutely concur with KD17---Whatever happens with Katie, her options will now be so much better! And if she does go on holiday with you, it gives her a fair chance to see what really is open to her. Those little minds work more than we sometimes give them credit for.

Best of luck to you all!!

Terry

[Nettie]

Congratulations Hayden & Family!

I absolutely agree with every one. We have a situation of 4 boys between us. My two are older and left for NZ on 1 year working visas 2 years ago.That was hard for me but we have been planning to go ourselves as soon as the house sold so thought we would be following sooner rather than later. Well, house still hasn't sold! Both boys renewed their visas so no problem there. My youngest has met a kiwi and is engaged. He is also applying for PR on partnership status. We visited them in Feb last year which was great. Then my eldest dropped a bombshell by saying he was returning with his English girlfriend who he met over there to travel Europe in a camper van! He has since returned home, which is lovely but sad too as we hope to leave (eventually). But he will always have the option to return if he chooses to.

Kevins two are 18 & 15. As they are both half kiwis they will have no problem getting in. The eldest may come with us but the youngest is still with mum & I think she will dig her heels in. So I think he will be staying here for the time being which will be really difficult for Kevin.

So there you go, where kids are involved it is never easy, but you have to live your life for you cos you only do it once and as someone said to me years ago "will your children ask your permission to live there lives the way they want to, or will they just do it?".

Tough but true.

But it will still hurt. :(