[Paul & Rach]

Hi all

I'm new to the forum.... lots of great advice on the site... just the resource I have been looking for for a while.

We have 2 young kids (aged 2 and 7). Has anyone any experience of kids this age and how the move affects them ? I can imagine our 7 year old will be out of school for a while and we may have to move several times before we settle.... Any advice/similar stories would be great...

Paul

[Hannah]

Hi guys and welcome to the forum!

My seven year old decided as we boarded the plane to come here that she was never going to come back again! She met friends at school on the first day and has never ever looked back. We had holidayed here before and that helped i think, but just involving her in our discussions about the move beforehand helped too.

I have a son aged 10 and he found it harder and even 4 months later doesn't have solid friendships established yet, although he knows lots of people and integrates fine at school. He had firm friends in school in UK and he knew them since toddlerhood so it's difficult for him, and the peer pressure thing affects kids so much more that age. That being said he has jumped into life here with vigour, taking part in all that can be done, abandoning shoes in the process (his feet have grown 2 sizes in 4 months - must be the freedom his feet now have!!!!)

I firmly believe that children will be happy with a move if you are happy with it. My son had doubts when i had doubts, not matter how hard i tried to hide them. That being said, my daughter said goodbye to her friends without a hint of emotion and even though we are going back to UK in 5 weeks time she still doesnt' appear to be bothered about leaving all her 'best friends' here. She is adamant she wants to live here and she has so much more freedom here. School is fantastic and she appreciates just how different it is from school in England. Seven year olds generally go with the flow, it gets harder as they get older and their friendships become more sincere and longer term. However, i think it may be different for girls too. My daughter's friendships changed by the day (best friend one day, hated her the next). My son has had the same friends from day one and they never argue over anything. They just play football and rarely talk - its a man thing!!!!

Hope that helps!!

hannah

PS\ try doing a forum search on children and moving - loads of postings in past which i have found very informative and supportive

[MB]

Paul and Rach,

Great question. Lovely to hear from you.

We have a 3 year old lad who was a month under 3 when we moved here.

One deliberate approach that seems to have worked for us was that we tried very hard to maintain Winston's pre-NZ routines and structures once we had arrived... from bedtime to diet to toothbrushing time.

While this might seem to be a "Well, duh!" point, :laugh , I emphasize it because in the first tiring and demanding months it was a fairly exacting task to be scrupulous about this. Our own change in daily patterns and behaviors, backed by the mental 'noise' of this period, contributed to its being a little bit of a challenge to keep Winston's NZ landing furnished with a healthy level of familiarity.

But, overall, he was with us all the time and we had to sow some sort of pattern for him that would have taken time and energy... so why not take care to sow one that was reassuringly consistent and ordinary to him? Our take on it was that it's a bit like the old saying about an inch this end of the target range being equal to two feet at the far end... in other words, making our own day a bit easier enough times by conveniently 'forgetting' parts of his routine might well have led to greater upset all round later.

We probably didn't get it 100% down, but we did try.

All the very best! :nice1

[Paul & Rach]

I firmly believe that children will be happy with a move if you are happy with it.

I think that is so true.... we need to show we are confident and happy.... If we have doubts - so will he.

One deliberate approach that seems to have worked for us was that we tried very hard to maintain Winston's pre-NZ routines and structures once we had arrived... from bedtime to diet to toothbrushing time.


I agree also - routine is important. I am also looking forward to giving my kids far more freedom than they have now... Where I live in the UK they dare not venture out alone. Kids in NZ have far more freedom.

Thanks for the replies.

Cheers :cheers

[sizzlingbadger]

We moved with three kids 4, 2, 14mths at the time.

They now have more confidence than they ever did back in the UK, they've got a HUGE and I mean HUGE network of friends and have settled in so well we wouldn't contemplate moving them again.

I think the whole experience of moving to the other side of the world has been a great life experience for them and they've just gone on from there.

We're having a 1st Anniversary Party soon and we've got about 20 families coming all with kids a similar age to ours. In the UK we only ever knew one or two people so it's been a positive change for us as parents as well.

[K&CS]

Hi, we only arrived 10 days ago, so I probably can't comment as much as the others.

I've got two daughters aged 6 and 8 and a 6 month old baby boy. Obviously the baby doesn't have a clue what's going on anyway!! The girls really seem to have coped with it with no difficulty. They are however starting school on Monday and are desperate to do so. We initially thought we wouldn't be sending them to school for some time as we could be moving a few times. Once we got here, we found an area we liked straightaway and have signed up for a 12 month lease, so the girls can go to school. We just realised that we all needed that stability. We know that there's a good chance that when we buy it could be in a different area and the girls could have to move, but someone once pointed out to me that they've made the major move by moving to the other side of the world. Moving to a school a few ks down the road is no big deal after that!

Try not to worry - it will all work out.

Kate

[shagen]

Our son is 7+ and our daughter is 4+. Both love it here and have settled well in their respective schools.

We rented when we first arrived. We love the suburd and as the kids have settled well in their schools, we kept a look out for houses which came up for sale in the area. After 3 months of searching we moved into our own home.