[Vanessa]

Hello all, this is my first post, although I have been reading everyone else's since Christmas! I must say, this forum is the best on the net by far, fabulous topics and information.
We are hopefully moving to NZ around July/August, don't know where yet, will depend on OH's job. We have three children - William 9 months, Alexandra is almost 4 and Stephanie is almost 14. I am finding that the most stressful thing about the emigration process is moving my teenager over there, mainly the worry about possibly ruining her education. She is quite shy and bookish and not feeling very positive about the move! Is there anyone out there who has experience of moving their teenager to NZ? How did they feel about it? How long did it take for them to settle? How did you cope??!! Any tips/suggestions to make it easier?
Thanks,
Vanessa

[Diny]

Hi Vanessa

Sorry I can't help with any info regarding your teeneager, my two are 9 and 10. just wanted to say welcome to the forum, and if you hang around long enough somebody will come up with the info to just about any question you ask.

Good luck - hope all goes well for you.

Diny

[katandbob]

WELCOME :D

sorry but I am not moving my two till september, but yes your not alone on the stressfull emotional rollercoaster ride of moving teenagers to NZ.

Mine are turning me grey! and we fly out ourselves in a week, leaving them with their gran till sept.

They are both worried about fitting in, (one has a girlfriend and is stressing about the separation) the long flight on their own (although they did ask if they could stop off in AUS and backpack for a bit ) :eek:


So take solace in that you are not alone and I am sure that someone here will have moved a teenager across already.

Again, welcome to the Forum and good luck for the move in the coming mths.


Kat

[dawn]

Hi and welcome!

I have 2 boys (13 & 12), and I'm afraid I'm not going to be much help, we haven't yet moved and my two can't wait to move and are really excited. I've been lucky as we're ex-military, they've had experience of new schools and environments.

I hope everything goes well for you!

Dawn

[marcia]

Sorry no answers to your questions here either, (my 3 boys are 10, 8 and 2) but just wanted to say welcome to the forum! :)

[kiwidollie]

Hi

For what its worth we moved over in February and my two children girl of 12 and boy of 17 have sort of switched opinions since then.

Before we came here my daughter was the one who was unsure and worried about fitting in etc and my son was all for it - couldn't wait to get here.

Now that they've both had 3 months at school my daughter absolutely loves it and has settled in great. She has made some lovely friends and seems like a much more carefree little girl than she did in the UK.

My son has made some really nice friends and goes out socially much more than he did in the UK but he is absolutely bored stiff at school!! We did worry about this before we came over and had hoped to move into one of the Grammar School areas and allow him to continue with the 5 A Levels he was doing in the UK. This didn't work out however and he said he was quite happy to try the NZ system of post 16 education. He is a really bright lad and its horrible to see him losing his sparkle where school is concerned. It is a major concern at this stage because we don't want to end up regretting the move. He's very happy with everything else about NZ and says that maybe he still needs to adjust to the lower intensity of the education system. He still hopes to go on to Uni.

Good luck to you and your family.

[Fizz]

Hi Vanessa,

Know exactly what you are going through....have a 16 year old daughter....into the Arts and Drama and not sporty at all! We are moving out in August to BOP, and she does not want to go at all! Kiwidollie's comments about her son being bored at school concern me too.....she has already lined up what A levels she wants to do in the UK and was looking forward to starting them. She is convinced that NZ equivalents are not going to be half as interesting and I am sure she is right! Worst of all, is the fact that she had plans to return to UK for uni and that is out of the question given the '3 years in the UK before going to uni' thing!!
Feel really deflated about the whole move at the moment as her determination not to go is wearing me down! It's hard to keep focused on the reasons for the move and keep positive. There are 2 younger kids to think about too.
Sorry I can't help to make you feel better but you are not alone!!
Good Luck!!

[Cardiff Irons]

Hi Vanessa.

We're in a similar predicament, we have 4 children and the one who is struggling most with the simple concept :uhoh of moving over the other side of the world is our 15 year old daughter.

I'm sure my wife, Gil, will give you more details of how we are dealing with it, as I am a bloke and therefore only able to mow the lawn, drink beer, light the barbie, drink beer and watch football.:cheers

And a very warm welcome to the forum. Good to have you on board.:nice1

[Charlosparky]

[QUOTE=Cardiff Irons]I am a bloke and therefore only able to mow the lawn, drink beer, light the barbie, drink beer and watch football.:cheers
/QUOTE]

Yes but not necessarily in that order, more like - Mow the lawn, drink beer, try to light the barbie, soak burnt fingers, have another beer, look for a candle because each match got dropped into the barbie as it burnt its length, have another beer, find nothing in the kitchen drawer but takaway menus where you swore there was a candle leftover from last christmas, burn a rolled up menu trying to light the barbie again, give up and order a takeaway (one of the remaining dishes still charred but readable), then have another beer and sit down just in time to watch the last 10 minutes of the football!!!! :laugh

Well we have 2 teenagers out of our 4(all lads) and hope to get to NZ by sept 06. Our 8yr old cant wait, ad asks questions such as "Can we have a Subaru Impreza? and "What does New Zealand seawater taste like?" :confused: Our 15 yr old is very quiet and quite a loner anyway (he's not entirely comfortable around the mouthy kids on our estate and we neither are we), but says he is looking forward to it. Our 17 yr old has attitude by the bucketful and a girlfriend, so is giving us real headaches, so far he has agreed that he will come out for two months and then see (mmm. not sure how to play that one, one of our main reasons for going is to get away from the gangster/chav thing he fancies himself as.) Our Eldest (20) is all set and has handed his notice in already! He even said he may go out first cos he cant wait (yeah thanks son, leave us here to sort out the house move etc!!!!)

The other lesson we have learnt is not to take anything the lads say too seriously, as they change their minds about NZ every other week, but generally fancy the whole NZ thing.

So no advice i suppose, we are just taking it all as it comes, and we have made a point of saying that if we try it for 2 years at least, if it isnt for us we can always sell up and come back

Good luck :nice1

[katandbob]

[QUOTE=Cardiff Irons]Our 17 yr old has attitude by the bucketful and a girlfriend, so is giving us real headaches, so far he has agreed that he will come out for two months and then see (mmm. not sure how to play that one, one of our main reasons for going is to get away from the gangster/chav thing he fancies himself as.)

The other lesson we have learnt is not to take anything the lads say too seriously, as they change their minds about NZ every other week, but generally fancy the whole NZ thing.

So no advice i suppose, we are just taking it all as it comes, and we have made a point of saying that if we try it for 2 years at least, if it isnt for us we can always sell up and come back

Good luck :nice1

yer, with you on that one mate :confused: good job i like the gal that Jordon has fell for!

so its leave daughter and grandson behind...but may be gaining daughter in law way before I intended!

ha ha


open that 3rd bottle of wine hun........................hic

Kat

[Vanessa]

Thanks all for the lovely welcome and helpful info! I am so glad I found this forum, I can see it's going to keep me sane over the next year (well, as much as that's possible!) and I'm looking forward to sharing all the ups and downs of emigrating. Some days I feel really excited about it, other days I feel sick when I think about all the hoops we have to go through just to get there! Does everyone feel like this? (Sorry, anyone feel like this - it's probably just me being a nutter!) :uhoh

Vanessa

[zardell]

Hi Vanessa and WELCOME to the forum.

Can't help you with your teenagers problem.....our kids have grown up and fled the nest....YAY !!

I can however help you with your 'probably just me being a nutter' problem.

Trust me - you are not alone - I bet a very high percentage of forumites feel/felt exactly the same......I know I do.

Chin up and welcome to the roller coaster ride.


Julie

xx

[meely&paul]

oh Venessa l remember feelng just like that and lm sure everyone does!but believe me its worth everybit of anxiety.when you step onto that plane the excitement just kicks in big style just hang on in there and thanks for the pm ;) meely

[off2nz]

Hi Vanessa

I know just where you are coming from... we are leaving for Auckland on Saturday and have 2 teenage daughters - 17 and 15. The 17 is and always has been very very keen on going but we have had so many problems with the 15 year old. Over the months, her attitude to emigrating has actually taken the shine off us going but things are looking better now.

I had been being very gentle with her and trying not to talk about NZ a lot in front of her so as not to upset her more than necessary. I had even gone so far as to say that when she's 16 (in November) she could come back to England - she has a boyfriend who doesn't want her to go and we looked into him getting a working holiday visa but that wasn't practical for him for various reasons. There have been so many tears and arguments about it and she is one of the main reasons that we are going - to get her away from the influences in our town that we aren't happy with.

But.... a couple of weeks ago my hubby got fed up with her attitude and with me being gentle etc and he sat her down (actually he was at the bottom of the stairs and she was at the top!!) and gave her a good talking to basically saying that she's only 15 and has to do what the family does etc etc. It might sound like he was harsh but he did it very well actually. Since then she's been different about it - she would still rather stay here but has accepted that she's got to go. We've let her spend more time than usual with her boyfriend over the last few days and I've overheard her say to people that she will never come back to the UK to live!

It's definitely a weight off our mind that she's accepted it as I must admit I had visions of her going missing on Friday night and having to hunt for her before our flight!

I really hope that the reluctance in your house is overcome as it does take away some of the excitement. Good luck!
G

[Kim39]

Vanessa,

We have a 14yr old girl who was just so unsure about this move. Same old worries that teenagers have i suppose, you know where i'm coming from, from the concerns of leaving friends behind, and family to the new school she would be going to and having to make new friends all over again. To us little things, but to a teenager the world. Please be rest assured that things are sooooo different now. She has made friends with some lovely kiwi kids and is just loving it. I only asked her and her sister about returning a few months ago and their answers where quite refreshing, but also worrying to a degree "You want us to go back....well you go on your own"

Think that answers a question or two. I know everybody is different and react in different ways to a situation they are put in, but i must say out of the british children we have encountered so far they all seem to love what they have here. If she has any worries and needs a little reassurance then drop us a pm and we'll see if we can answer those concerns.

Kim

[Vanessa]

Hi Kim, it's good to hear how happy your kids are and thanks for the offer of anwering any worries my daughter may have! In fact, wouldn't it be a good idea to have a "mini forum" for all the kids moving to NZ too? :D

[Charlosparky]

Hi Vanessa

There have been so many tears and arguments about it and she is one of the main reasons that we are going - to get her away from the influences in our town that we aren't happy with.

I must admit I had visions of her going missing on Friday night and having to hunt for her before our flight!

G

Thank god for that!! I was starting to think my lad was the only teenager hooked on the wrong image- by which i mean general gangster/hoody attitude, dress, gold looking chains- god i hope to see less of this Rap rubbish in NZ, or at least see less of it so he feels less pressured to live up to it. All the 17yr olds living on our street have been out of school a year now and still have not worked, hang around all day with fags and lager, and dump their litter as they walk. :mad:

Sorry.. hijacked the thread but feel better for a rant

[tee and dee]

Hi,
my situation is - 4 children aged 2. 5 (no probs there - just mention sea, whales and mountains - yippee, can we go today ?) 14 year old lad in a band and doing gigs, making cds etc so lots of positives here for him and 15 yr old girl with first steady boyfriend - she says she will return at 18 - that gives us a good 2 years once over there to change her mind, which i'm sure can be done but at this stage (Approval in Principle, house up for sale, notices handed in, possible job found) I feel guilty at turning my teenagers worlds upside down. No, you're not a nutter Vanessa - i feel sick as often as I feel excited. It is good to hear from those who ahve made it out there and their kids love it - keep the posts flowing for those of us going very quickly grey !
Tracey

[K&CS]

Charlosparky, the kids seem to be less into rap and more into rock, from what I can see, if that's any help (and that's just where we are). A lot of surf type teenagers around here, but we are by the sea!

[blink_guy]

If they're into rock they'll grow their hair long and get tattoos and piercings. It really doesn't matter, and this coming from a 20 year old. Lol.

[Annierobrigado]

hi vanessa and everyone

this thread makes me wish i started the whole migration thing when my kids were less than 5 years old - they like the prospect of going somewhere outside of our town, seeing places, eating new food, etc.

now they're teenagers with lives of their own... legally they're still under our care and responsibility, but, you can't arrest them for giving us attitude!

hopefully our talking about nz and what they could do there and having met filipinos who migrated there and grew up there, my teeners would slowly imagine the best that nz could offer them for their future.

my youngest is 8 years old and, like tee and dee's 2 year old, is ready to go to nz anytime; he already has a list of what to bring in his suitcase and where he'll go to school there, and he would like his own room in nz please...

so i'd raise a glass of beer (well, root beer, as i don't drink, hehe; hubby does) to you and say cheers, i hope to see and meet you in nz one fine day.

annie

[jodieinchch]

hi guys. well i think the idea of a 'mini forum' for kids (mainly the teens!) is a great idea. i'm 18, nearly 19, and know that when my parents were first talking about it when i was starting 6th form college at 16 yrs old i was so petrified, excited, the whole host of emotions. but i was always keen to do it. and after a trip out here with them in december 2003 i knew it was what i wanted to do even if it was on my own, which made them want to do it more. now to the modern day, they're still sorting the house sale out bk in the UK, and I'm living in CHCH, have been since february 06. its very strange, but if children are going into education (school or uni) then they're going to make new friends. it always helps if they're outgoing, but the kiwi population is very friendly and welcoming, so not to worry, they always seem to talk to you and go out of their way to help.