[jo b]

All,

I am sat here with 3rd beer yes 3rd beer in hand.
You see my better half, Ian is applying for a job in Tauranga.
It makes it so real now. Good God how do you all cope.

The reason for the 2nd thoughts today is I read some posts on UK2NZ but I was on a downer again all day. :wah

You see without seeming to spout about our earnings we will be giving up a combined income of £75k per year.

Don't get me wrong I have to work away from home A LOT for my salary and my kids are the most important thing in my life (as well as H-I-D). So as the mother of the family this is really hard.

Yes I could give up work here and stay at home but there are other reasons for seeking a safer more fulfilling future for my family.

But after reading on the 'other' site about people returning I need some encouragement.

The job Ian has applied for sounds just up his street with a little more added to keep him busy. I am sure he will love it as he will be expanding his expertise too.

So chaps if he is succesful we could be going quicker than we planned :eek

God I need to keep my feet on the ground.......sorry I am rambling but I just had to share this with you guys.

HELP!!

Jo

[jo b]

Oh BTW I am off work tomorrow so the beer is 'cos I am on me 'olidays

Jo

[Diny]

Jo Jo Jo ..... don't panic !!!!!!!

I know exactly what you mean. It's my honest opinion that the closer the move gets, the more real it becomes, the more panic attacks one experiences.

Talking about future plans is brilliant, when something is going to happen 'one day' we don't need to think about all the life changing things that will go hand in hand. When those plans become reality ..... boy oh boy it's a different kettle of fish.

I was going to keep this to myself but will 'fess up' now. Last week I had a couple of days of sheer panic. In fact it was more than that ..... I was in a living nightmare. I woke up in the middle of the night (as usual) and was gripped by the overwhelming certainty that I did not want to go to NZ. I was planning ways of calling the whole thing off and got myself in a right state. My dad was in hospital last week (not ill - having a knee replacement) and I'm pretty sure that having to take mum to visit him and seeing him sitting in a propped up bed in a ward full of oldies is what shook me up. Monday night was the worst, I cried and cried until I made myself sick.

Anyway - the week progressed, Dad came out of hospital, full of beans and whizzing around his house like a mad thing on crutches. I had a long talk with hubby (which always does the trick for me), and bit by bit the panic attack was over.

Here we are a week on and I'm back to my old ranting hormonal self, stressing out 'cos the house hasn't sold.

My worry of the week is: ......... what if the house takes yonks to sell and we miss the NZ summer. I really don't want to go from UK winter into NZ winter.

I wonder what the worry of the week will be next Monday?

So ..... don't panic. Well .... yeah panic if you like, but keep it in perspective. Panic is good. It shows that you're thinking the whole thing through from every angle. I feel your chances of making a successful go of things are far better than the people who refuse to look further than the glossy travel brochure pictures.

As for the money side of things - I understand where you're coming from. However this is always a tricky subject to cover. What is regarded as a poor, moderate or good income varies from person to person. It would be foolish to believe that a drop in wages would have no effect on us, however, if you've got the guts to relocate to the other side of the world, you'll have it in you to adjust financially too. You never know, when taking everything into account, such as house prices, cost of living, lifestyles etc, you may find that your money situation isn't a million miles away from what it is now. Like I said though - it's difficult to comment because everybody has different incomes and ideas as to how far those incomes will go.

This is turning into a sermon so here endeth the lesson for today.

Chin up petal. You will soon be over this panic attack and no doubt the next one won't be too far away. Just remember that between the panics you'll remember why you've decided to make the move and you'll be bouyed up with fuel injected enthusiasm.

I'll PM you my home number, if you need to swap panic notes give me a call anytime you like.

Relax and go for beer number 4. :cheers

Diny

[jo b]

You guys,

already on beer No. 4 but feeling much better after reading your as ever supportive posts.

Diny thanks you always make me feel as I am not on my own, I would love to chat personally because i feel after reading you past posts we share the same fears of homesickness etc.

I wish him indoors would post.........just to get things off his chest so to speak but he is a really private/quite kind of bloke.

(((((hugs)))))

Your cyber friend
Jo

[Diny]

Hey Kim

Reckon Jo owes us a beer for that councelling session - don't you? ;)

Diny

[jo b]

Diny,

Now you'r pushing it :mrgreen:

No really beers on me anytime :cheers

Jo

[Rimbo]

Jo B,
By the time you read this you would have had your holiday and you'll be back on the southern side of Wigan (where the sun always shines :cool ) and generally feeling much better.
Hopefully Ian goes for that job and gets it. Things will move pretty quickly and you'll be swept along at an alarming rate with no time to worry. Then it'll hit you! Then you'll start to panic, Ian may have to go to NZ on his own and leave you here, and then you'll have worries about selling the house, yah-de-dah-de-dah!
now that I’ve made things ten times worse. Perhaps we should take a step back and think about our reasons for firing off to NZ.
You have a good job here.
Ian has a good job here
You have a good income
A nice house
George is a fantastic family pet
2 nice cars
Nice clothes
Massive silver fridge
......
What’s missing?
Everything I’ve just mentioned is stuff that you don't actually pine for, from speaking with you, you don't want material things (OK, perhaps George isn't materialistic, but he’s a posh looking cat!) you want the stuff that Lancashire or anywhere in England can’t provide
You want...
Great lifestyle
Friendly neighbourhood
Safe environment
Good schools
Views
……

If you ask me you want the same as me, a sense of living, being alive, work to live and not the other way.
:nice1
john :mrgreen:

[Danpoll]

I am glad to see that I am not the only one who has doubts, Since my visa was issued last Thursday i have been emotionally up and down. I question daily wether I have done the correct thing. You wait so long for the visa and you think that when it arrives evreything will be bliss, the uncertaintiy of wether or not you will be allowed to go to nz then once you are, you question wether you should. The next day you just want to go and go then. Yet we pay good money to put ourselfs through this emotional roller coaster ride, why?

cheers Dan

[Diny]

Rimbo

Good posting to Jo ...... bet she'll be about ready to string herself up when she reads it :nice1 Only joking mate ........... it made a lot of sense and echoed many of my sentiments.

Just one thing though ....... I don't agree with going to NZ for good schools. I know that the UK has some crap schools but there's some damn good ones too. The education system in NZ is definately different to the UK but I'd never go as far as saying better.

There again I'm speaking from personal experience. We live in a rural area and the kids go to a very good school with only 64 pupils. Maybe if they were attending an inner city comp I'd have a different view.

Anyway ..... I'm off shopping - catch you later.

Diny

[lindajax]

Jo,
I can identify wholeheartedly with your fears and panics :eek .
When it came to booking our flights I simply couldn't do it - Alistair had to.
Sleepless nights are the norm now. I dream of shipping mishaps, crumby rentals and a crappy job that I hate and one wage.
We too are leaving good jobs, a nice house, great friends and security. BUT we firmly believe that Lucy will have more opportunities and a more safe and relaxed style of life in NZ and I KNOW YOU FEEL THE SAME.

It is a very dificult thing to go from dreams to reality - I know that now.
You are a very strong and motivated person - you will cope and manage with any circumstances - it will be difficult at first but then again isn't that life in general.

The other forum has many many members and not all have enjoyed their experience in NZ that is normal - they just feel that everyone needs a balanced view.

Try not to read these negative posts - it is somene elses opinion they are not you, they are not your family. They will not share your ideals or dreams. At the moment they probably feel dissolusioned and disappointed that things are not working out for them - I wish that it had - I hate to see people struggle and fail it makes me sad.

I really hope you do go to NZ I think you'll fit in perfectly. You are motivated, kind, helpful and supportive - Qualities that I personally relish in a friend.

Please keep your chin up - tell your hubby to nail that damn job and we'll chill a beer for your arrival !!!!!!

With Much Love
Linda
xxxx

[Babette & Andy]

Reading through your threads I can feel all your emotions, and they so mirror my own. It's funny when you read other peoples words, when these words are so similar to the battles that go on in your own head.

Dearest Jo / Linda / Diny / John and others, I only have a little more to add to what you guys have already said. Deep down we all know why we're putting ourselves through this rollercoaster of emotions, but to doubt oneselves is a natural reaction. It's through means of this forum and the wonderful bonds we've been making with eachother that we get through these doubting times. Have a few bears, get if of your chest and you'll get through it.

If only Andy & I were as far as you guys in the process. But I hope that when our time comes you guys will be able to remember your experiences and help us through our rollercoaster ride.

Hang in there :nice1

[blue]

Hi and I emphasise with you all. I had a really difficult weekend. I was supposed to meet friends on sunday but decided not to go as I couldnt face being asked have you sold the house? How are your plans going etc it really gets to you then I think to myself I really enjoy my job here I have a decent house how are the dogs going to settle how am I going to get on in my new job which is shift work and ward based when I am used to working 9 to 5 on community. I dont sleep anymore and when I do dont feel refreshed then theres the feelings of missing the family and friends and also going to a new country alone where I have never been before and dont know anyone. Fears that will the dogs travel ok they are all rescued and Paddy has a problem which he has medication for and can get dehydrated but so far he has been really well on his meds. Sorry to go on. Then again if you dont go ahead then you never know it is off putting reading negative posts on the other forum but as mentioned before that is someone elses personal experience and we are all different. Good to have a moan and that others really do understand what we are going through

[A & M]

Hi
Another non sleeper here... My husband has just come in after meeting his running mates for a drink and they were all telling him how "brave" we were. That started him worrying. I'm starting to dread all the goodbyes - getting more weepy with each one. It's good to know you're not the only one wondering if this is the right thing to do. And as someone else said, at least you are thinking it through and know that there will be good days and bad ones. But it's always worst at 4 in the morning.
Mandy

[leslie]

i can imagine for people who have close, helpful families and friends etc leaving must be a bit emotional. by mny standards we have a good life here, but there is a hole bigger than lake taupo that eats my soul and makes me crave something meaningful. we dont have good fam/ friends here and i find it harder to like people every passing day because most seem so incredibly self absorbed/ materialistic and its BORING. i lived in nz for a year and have been waiting 10 years to go back because it was one of the only places i know where money isn't THE only thing that counts. that said, there is plenty of it in nz if you are prepared to go for it rather than sit back and wait. to me you do not go to nz for money, you go for life - as uncomplicated as that life may be. and that is the beauty. in uk life is measured by distractions - nz has few of these and that means reality is in your face. you know where you stand in every sense and that is very very cool. what is on offer is what you need and you make what you want. living in the uk i am so tired of compromising my children's best interests, which are in the end my best interests too...

incidently, i never understood the word 'relax' until nz.

[AliJax]

True Post Leslie, thats what we're looking for, Too many distractions in the UK - things get in the way of life here.

Linda & I have not been to NZ and come this New Years Eve - we're throwing it all away in the UK for a hell of a ride full of ups & downs.

We're expecting about two months of downs while we gel in and elbow ourselves into our new environment - but while we have people like you around at the end of this forum we know there is always someone to prop us back up again.

:nice1

[Paul]

i can imagine for people who have close, helpful families and friends etc leaving must be a bit emotional. by mny standards we have a good life here, but there is a hole bigger than lake taupo that eats my soul and makes me crave something meaningful. we dont have good fam/ friends here and i find it harder to like people every passing day because most seem so incredibly self absorbed/ materialistic and its BORING. i lived in nz for a year and have been waiting 10 years to go back because it was one of the only places i know where money isn't THE only thing that counts. that said, there is plenty of it in nz if you are prepared to go for it rather than sit back and wait. to me you do not go to nz for money, you go for life - as uncomplicated as that life may be. and that is the beauty. in uk life is measured by distractions - nz has few of these and that means reality is in your face. you know where you stand in every sense and that is very very cool. what is on offer is what you need and you make what you want. living in the uk i am so tired of compromising my children's best interests, which are in the end my best interests too...

incidently, i never understood the word 'relax' until nz.


Great post Leslie - not very often I post on here as don't have much to add as far as NZ info is concerned at this stage, but this is really well worded and so true!!
Its so easy to fall into the "materialism trap" and I am as as guilty as the next person, but as you say it is not fulfilling!!
I shall show my wife this tonight......

Thanks

Paul

[Diny]

Good post Leslie - from the heart.

Although I like 'nice' things, I can't really claim to be mterialistic. We're not ones for fancy restaurants, night clubs, designer clothes or anything that's considered hip or a 'must have' item (apart from my new laptop !!!).

However, it's my belief that you make your own luck, like you say - it's out there for those who want to get it. I'm damn sure that whatever people are like in this country - they will be the same wherever they live.

I know Jo personally, and I know that high salaries & big houses pushed to one side - her greatest worry is missing family. I know exactly where she's coming from on that one.

You say you're not close to family and friends in the UK, at times like these that can be a blessing in disguise. Those of us who are very fond of our families face a very traumatic time when we have to leave them. Regardless to what we think of the state of this country (and personally I don't think it's the Beirut that some folks make out) - it's the leaving the family that will be the hardest bit of reality we'll have to face.

Thankfully the world is getting smaller - gone are the days of emigrating and never being able to return for a holiday.

When all is said and done ..... I wish my blooming house would sell !!!!

All the best.

Diny

[leslie]

to follow on my previous post (thank you for replies) here's a little something to help focus on the benefit of immigration...

went to police station re. checks and spent 30+ mins sitting 5m from a young mother telling the policewoman about a potential peedo (teenager lingo) who has repeatedly followed her 6 year old home, talking to her etc. the girl is frightened and the mum now likewise. the response???

we can't really do anything because we'd have to arrest him and bring him in for questioning (no, really?).

the suggested solution???

(officer shows mum a rape alarm) 'buy her one of these and if he is upsetting her tell her to set it off because they get attention'.

i was/ am still shocked. when my 13 yr old daughters young science teacher took a shine to her the school suggested the problem was in our heads even when other pupils were teasing her and she was getting stressed. we spent months trying to find a new school and got her out asap. shades of soham? anyone think they will miss this social set?

[Diny]

That's sick !!!

I never have been able to understand the reasoning behind that attitude. The police know that there is a risk but until something actually happens their hands are tied. Just seems crazy.

However, the positive side of this 'coin' is that we don't (yet) live in a police state where it is possible to get arrested for something you 'may' do rather than something you 'have' done.

The above problems exist anywhere in the free world. Years ago (when my inlaws lived in Palmerston North) they had a dairy just up the street. When my hubby and I stayed with them we would go to the dairy each evening to buy some 'goodies' to take on our walk round the park (not necessarily being romantic - just getting some time to ourselves). The owner of the dairy was a real creep and I was convinced he was hiding some sick secrets. I mentioned this to my inlaws who agreed and told me that the rumours about him were rife.

Anyway - a couple of years later we received a pile of newspaper cuttings from my mother in law - all telling about how the said shopkeeper had been arrested for interferring with little girls !!!!!!!

Maybe if the authorities had taken note of peoples concerns - things wouldn't have got that far?

What I'm really trying to say is that whatever problems exist in this country, they are more than likely going to exist everywhere else in the world - NZ included. Because the NZ population is a mere fraction of the population of the UK - these sicko people are fewer and further between, but believe me - they exist !!!!

Diny

[Gran]

Leslie, that was a great post, and lifestyle is the reason most people come here, lets face it there's no reason they would come for the high salary. Yes, they come for lifestyle, then some of them when they get here, forget why they came and start complaining about the salary!!
Salarys will improve with time because of the shortage of staff at the moment. That is happening. I guess if your salary is not up to scratch, move on rather than move back.

[jesselyn]

............... about people returning I need some encouragement.


hi jo,

im sure everything will be alright...
take care and God bless!

hugs,
jes :angel

[jo b]

Hi all,


Thaks for all your posts feeling much better this week.

Just got back from Disney last night and by Geeze it put things into perspective.

Now I am a little more focused on NZ. The amount of europeans who are in your face with no respect to your personal space ARRRGGG :wah pushing in front of you even while waiting for the loo :eek :no

It sadens me that in a world of materialistic views, in their rush to see Mickey they forget about the human side of life and that in their quest to get a signature from someone in a suit actually upset everyone else around them.

Just thought I would update you anyway we did have a great time and it was lovely just to spend some time with the kids.

My legs and feet are still killing me though ;)

Cheers

Jo

[Diny]

Jo Jo Jo ???

Did you see him ?????? Did you ????? Was Buzz there??????

Good to hear you're feeling abit better this week.

Nahh - told you so :roll:

No really, after my 'downer' of a couple of weeks ago I thought I'd never feel better - but hey I do !!!!!!

PB went back to the rig for a month today :( On the way to the airport we were talking about nothing but NZ. The kids were saying all the things that they want to do when they first arrive, we were talking about what kind of house we want .... etc etc. I never thought I'd be feeling like this again. It's funny really, my bad downer had a very strange effect on me ... it just made me want the move even more.

Looking forward to seeing you again soon.

Diny

[Kim39]

Diny, you mentioned abouts the kids talking about what they want to do first when they get there. Well we had friends round last night for a meal, we spent the majority of the evening and earlier hours doing as such. Not only was food & drink on the menu but NZ too. At the end my friend who has a well paid job with Mercedes Benz, on the commercial vehicle side of things spoke up and decided he wanted a bit of the action. Maybe not NZ but somewhere else, he is now talking about opening his own dive school maybe in the caribbean. The funny thing is how your dreams and aspirations suddenly rub off on people the more you talk about it. My best mate who i have known for 37 years was moving to Spain, we got talking and whammy he is now on the ITA stage for NZ.
Yes, when your on a downer grab the nearest person to you, tell them how you feel and before you know it your back to your best realising its the best thing you are likely to do for a long time.

Kim39

[Bubbles]

Hi Kim39 ( 40 )
Tell your friend to forget about the caribbean, there's already too many dive clubs/schools out there. There is "some out of this world diving" to be had in NZ. I have had the same idea, but will need to fulfill my SMC visa obligations first. I am a skilled engineer but eventually am hoping to open up my own dive school somewhere out there. Will need to look more in depth when I get out there !
Anyhow,, I am an instructor and dive officer of my local dive club, so ask your friend to keep me in mind if he gets to NZ.

Cheers

John

[Diny]

Hey Bubbles

A few weeks ago I saw a cracking little dive business for sale up in Russell. You got the boat and I think about 12 tanks with all the associated gubbins (technical term for dive equip) - it looked blooming lovely.

Sorry I can't remember where I saw the ad but if you put in a search for Dive Schools NZ you should get some joy.

Diny

[Timbo]

Similar one at this link

http://www.aorata.com/divenorth/

[Bubbles]

Thanks for the info folks :nice1
I will have to spend some time seriously researching this.
Oh, and thanks Timbo, got your pm, I will test the water ( excuse the pun ) over the next couple of days.

Cheers all

John