[NannyOgg]

Hi All

Not sure if I should post here or in the Lounge and my apologies for taking up this space with what, given all the big moves everyone have made / is going to make, seems so trivial.

The point is this - I am no longer just scared - I am absolutely TERRIFIED. I live yards away from the beach, the sun has been shining (Yes, OK, I know we had winter up until the end of May!), friends have been popping round for wine and laughter, kids have been out playing with friends from dawn until dusk and to put it in a nutshell it has been almost idylic.

We have started dismantelling our lovely home (only a 3 bed semi but lovely to me) and I am afraid I seem to have been on auto pilot. I have activly been elbowing out negative thoughts from my brain about moving to NZ and not giving them time to form - I have been throwing myself into the practicalities of the move. Is this normal do you think?

I am not at the point of backing out but I am suddenly so worried. Will someone please remind me that it will be winter again in September and that by leaving August I'll get two summers!

But seriously gang - I would apprectiate any similar experiences and words of wisdom. Want to blub like a big girls blouse even writing this all :wah

Cheers

Nanny

[Smiler]

Hi NannyOgg

I know exactly how you feel, having gone through the same feelings. I felt sick to my stomach and my OH said I looked like a rabbit caught in headlights at times. :laugh

I made a list of the reasons we were doing the move, pro's and con's. Guess which list was longest? It really helped to see it all on paper, rather than the thoughts spiralling round my head, usually at 3.00am. I added to it when I found another pos or neg, just to keep me focused. I made lists of everything to do with the move and kept them up to date, the feeling of achieving some little thing each day was good.

I cried a lot at the merest thought of leaving my boy and family and did really question what we were doing. Don't bottle up the tears.

BUT I'm here, life is good, we are 8 months into living our long term plan.

We also had two summers, which did help settle us in before winter. You'll love that part.

I still have lows, sometimes huge troughs, but I really am a person that struggles with change and so I knew to expect this.

What you are feeling is natural. Don't bottle it up, talk about it and write it down. I bet now when you look all you can see is a packing case? But when you pack the last box, say 'see you soon' and get on that plane, your fears will be replaced with excitement and you can look forward.

Who's to say you can't live near the beach here, that your children will stop playing out? Your life will change but in many ways will stay the same as you will have the same children, hubby etc.

It's really tough, I know, but we are all here for you. http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c75/smiler127/emoticons/smileyhug.gif

PS You are not taking up space, this forum is for one and all. If being wobbly is what's happening with you right now, this is the place to wobble.

[NannyOgg]

Your life will change but in many ways will stay the same as you will have the same children, hubby etc.

And I thought you were trying to cheer me up! :laugh

[zardell]

Your life will change but in many ways will stay the same as you will have the same children, hubby etc.

And I thought you were trying to cheer me up! :laugh


:laugh :laugh :laugh

That was soooo funny.....

Seriously though, I know exactly how you feel, because I'm feeling the same way.

We'll just have to let go of all this familiarity before we can start again.

We'll get there Nanny.

Julie

xx

[Jameelka]

Nanny I'm sure this is natural and we'll all go through it.
Thing is when the sun is shining it always makes things look better and nicer,but just think of the long drawn out cold and wet winter evenings that we have aswell!! (just trying to make u feel better!)
We are on a high at the minute having just come back from our reccy trip to NZ,but keep thinking and wishing we were still there right now.
I'm sure there will always be the ups and downs,but just think if you decided against things now,futher down the line you'd regret it.
Also I have kept saying that at least you are giving it ago and can always come home,alittle lighter in the purse strings but at least the option is there.
I'm sure we'll all have the feelings you are having now at some stage through this process,just keep positive and think of the good times ahead :) !!

[diforsyth]

There is a book, which should be in your local library, called "Who Moved My Cheese?" by Spencer Johnson. It's very quick to read and helps you to deal with Change in your life, work etc.

[willowshouse]

A great posting by Nanny .. I wonder how many people like me will read it and see themselves instantly

A fantastic reply by Smiler :) Great advice which I shall try out too

Dawn

[Diny]

Nanny - don't worry, what you are going through is totally natural. We left the UK this time last year too. The weather was wonderful and everything was 'hunky dory'. I just couldn't understand why we were leaving.

If you've read any of my previous posts you'll know that I don't consider our move to NZ to be anything more than a sideways step, this is because our life back in the UK was great. But life here is great too. The fact that we've come out and actually 'walked the walk' after so much 'talking the talk' is something we just had to do.

I know the feelings you are experiencing can sometimes be crippling - and be prepared for those feelings to continue to a certain extent when you're here. Day by day things will become clearer and easier and hopefully you'll realise that the old 'happy inner self' feelings are starting to come back.

Nobody said that this immigration lark was an easy ride but whatever happens in the future you'll have experienced life from both sides of the planet and that can only be a good thing in as far as 'character building' for all concerned.

Hang in there - the cocktail of emotions you're having will soon settle - I promise.

Diny

[Lupin]

When I get the wobbles I tell myself that we can go for a year, come back and have gained a big life adventure. It helps me.

Obviously I try to *forget* we've bought one-way tickets during these wobbles!

[Pamela]

Nanny

It's so normal never had the feeling before leaving only when we arrived and still feeling the same now, I think I have filled a bucket with tears but the people on the forum are here for you and belive me they are wise in what they say and the advice is invalueable helped me feel normal again.

They would rather hear you worries and help you than have you go it alone,
I sometimes feel that posting things on here they will laugh in some way, But that's so not the case. Only helped so much.

Never been very good at writing things down but have now started because I find that it is a outlet for the feelings inside if that makes sense. not sure what I am trying to say really but belive me it is natural to feel the way you are and things will get better.

Just go on in here because they love it thats whys its here. Goodluck thinking of you.

[Nienke]

Hi NannyOgg,
Nothing to add to what has been said before, it's completely normal to feel like that. It's been only 2 months since I left Holland and I felt exactly the same, but it already started to subside when I was on the plane on my way to New Zealand. And I went from winter to winter... :mad:
Don't hold it all in, cry when you want and when you need to!
Best wishes!!

[Debbie]

Terrified, If only..
I think terified is normal. Im worried as I just feel numb. My lack of emotion is making me question whether this is the right thing for us to be doing.
Im compeatly void of emotion about the whole thing now that it is finally happening.
I know that I should be worried , anxiouse ,stressed about the prospect of dismatalling my life, 2 kids, a dog and shipping it to the great unknown but.....
Im trying to put 'to do lists' together to get things started but it's just not happening. Ive gone into a kind of mental shut down on it all.
Some one write back and tell me how I need to get my finger out and start organising things.
Debbie

[Smiler]

Some one write back and tell me how I need to get my finger out and start organising things.
Debbie

OK you asked.:laugh You need to get your ......................

Seriously, if you can't get your head around what you need to do, start with a big fat list of what you have done, see if that jogs the old mental shut down. Or do a timescale, things I have to do by x date kinda thing.

I had days like this, almost dumbstruck with fear and all I could do was ride it out really. It did get better in that it was replaced by panic, am I doing the right thing etc, but to be honest feeling something was heaps better than feeling nothing.

You can always ask advice here but how are the rest of the family? Is OH excited, kids looking forward to it, extended family?

Maybe ask family for help with packing etc, just to get you kick started.

And a big hug cause you are not alone. http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c75/smiler127/emoticons/smileyhug.gif

[K&CS]

Debbie, I was just like you. I worried about feeling numb and not doing anything and just carrying on as normal really until we got on the plane! I think that was my way of coping with the huge change taking place, but it worked for me - I'm never one to overplan things. Everyone's different and has a different way of coping with things - keeping calm was essential for me, and I still feel pretty calm over 3 months on. Don't panic - sounds like you're doing fine.

Nanny, I agree with what others have said. Things have a habit of suddenly seeming wonderful when you're about to leave - summer will probably be over in a few weeks and you'll be back to grey days, which might make it easier to leave. Try not to panic - it's only natural to feel terrified - I think I'm just not natural!!!

Kate x

[NannyOgg]

Debbie,

Yes oh yes! Thank you so much for vocalising what I couldn't pin point myself but recognised instantly when you spelled it out for me - NUMB! Panick occassionaly (as when I wrote the post) but numbness is the staple feeling. spend all my time on this forum looking for inspration.

When are you off debbie?

Nanny xxx

[Debbie]

Nanny I've PM you.
Not being secretive to everyone else Im just paranoid about speeking to soon and cursing it all.

[Smiler]

Not being secretive to everyone else Im just paranoid about speeking to soon and cursing it all.


Yep, after numbness comes paranoia :laugh:laugh