[willowshouse]

It's been 2.5 / 3 years since we've been thinking of emmigrating to finally making the absolute decision to go. I have put various obstacles in the way of 'the decision' until we have finally exhausted almost all of them. My OH has grown up kids, we both have parents to leave behind .. and his are 80 +, one of my very good friends has brain cancer with a fairly poor prognosis and a rapid decline in recent months ......... not to mention the 'lesser' considerations of friendships and familiarity.

What I want to know is .. how long has it taken/did it take you to decide to move to NZ (completely committed!) and what, if anything, did you need to overcome before making your final decision. Looking for a bit of empathy!

Still going, just a bit wobbly today..

[Diny]

Took us 17 years !!!! There was always something else happening, valid obstacles, jobs, kids etc etc ..... you name it, it was a reason not to 'do it'.

Husband is a Kiwi and we would often come over here on holiday to see his olds, each time we visited it nudged our permanent move a little closer. We made the definate decision about 2.5 years ago. It took us 18 months to sell the house, sort everything out and get here.

We've been here a year now, I still get the wobbles. Some days are fantastic, other days are chronic. My hubby works for an oil company and spends LONG periods away from home, hence the boys and I have had to knuckle down and do this whole immigration thing almost solo from day 1 ...... it's been tough, very tough. I know that if we were all here as a family 100% of the time life in NZ (for me) would be so much easier.

Wobbles are natural, but I sometimes wonder where the line is drawn, when do wobbles move from natural to 'all consuming' ..... if I ever find out I'll let you know.

Good luck and hang in there.

Diny

[K&CS]

It took us about a year from returning from a visit (a holiday - not a reccie - we had no intention of moving away from the UK as we were very happy). We just fell in love with the SI and it just had a real draw pulling us back. Main hurdle was my mum - she was on her own (my dad died years ago) and we were very close. She was also in the early stages of alzheimers and I was struggling to cope with her increasingly erratic/alarming behaviour and basically caring for her, as well as being pregnant and holding down a job and two kids. There came a point when we realised that mum could no longer live on her own as she was becoming a danger to herself. My brother (who lived about 200 miles away from us) suggested she go into a home on his street and after much consideration, that is where she moved. My kids were also very close to her and I couldn't bear them to see their granny change so much and no longer recognise them and us. It was a very hard decision but once it was made, it made deciding to move to NZ so much easier. There was nothing really keeping us in the UK anymore. I also think being pregnant made it easier for me to make my mind up. I had this thought in my head of my little baby growing up here and now here we are!

So far we haven't been disappointed and I'm glad we made the move. It can be hard deciding to make the move. It's a tough call - even those whose parents are still alive and well do unfortunately have to face the fact that this situation will eventually change and that's what you have to really think about - could you face being away when their health starts failing? Unfortunately, that's already happened for me, so at least I don't have to 'worry' about it in the same way (if that makes sense). I think it's probably one of the major factors that either stops people making the move or else sends them home again.

This probably isn't very helpful. I think what I'm trying to say is that you need to be really committed and certain you want to make the move - otherwise I think it could be very difficult to overcome these factors. Good luck.

Kate

[mossum]

Hi

our case is slightly different - I grew up in Christchurch NZ - my parents emigrated when I was 2 & I returned to the UK when I was 18 - it has been a VERY long gap year :laugh . We decided to move back pretty much on a whim i'm afraid , that was last october . We had to apply for PR via the family route as i'd only ever had residency ( the days when it expired ) . So hard getting everything together , Mum was unable to do much as shes wheelchair bound so I had to rely on my lazy & slack brother & sister !!!

My husband has only been to NZ once - that was in 1995 when we got married - mona vale in Ch Ch for any cantabrians - any way I digress .... He seems pretty ok about going - despite the fact hes leaving his son (14) & his parents - his Mum he could take or leave ( I know that sounds awful ) but recently he's become close to his Dad . His son may be moving to sydney next year with his mum her hubby & his sister - that would make our life far far easier not to mention cheeper . All these things aside he's very very keen to go - in fact its me who has the wobbles - bizzare but true - basically I'm going home so why should I be nervous ?????

I just think its the massive upheaval & change thats the worry - also I've done all the paperwork - DH has had a medical & signed a few forms . he's unlikely to even pack his own suit case - not an ounce of new age guy in him :laugh :laugh so I geuss its all far more " real " for me .

vic x

[Phil & Ali Smith]

We've been thinking of emigrating for 3/4 years and until this time last year we had every intention of going to central France.
That was really my OH's idea, and I had lots of reservations about it (mostly the language). So I knew that I had to think of an alternative. I' d lived in NZ for a couple of years when I was small (parents emigrated and came back again). Phil didn't take much persuading to take time out in November 05 for a 3 week visit (whirlwind tour) and after only 2-3 days we were both convinced that NZ was the place for us.
I'm sure that most of us find that family ties are the biggest struggle in making our decisions.
I'm leaving 2 kids of 19 & 21, neither of whom are settled in careers or study. They neither want to come with us which to be honest I'm happy about, but they both know that they'll be welcome once we've settled.
If Phil & I didn't make the move now, we may loose that window of opportunity. Kids grow up & have more kids (grandchildren) and I think that that may be an even harder time to make the move. My dad is 87 and not too fit these days but he's done everything to encourage our move (he's the one who wanted to stay back in 1966). He's still got my brother living locally and I don't worry so much about him.
When we returned from our holiday/reccie last November we started putting everything in place , but doesn't it all take forever. We initially thought we'd be there by November 06, but it's probably going to be Feb/March 07 (if we're lucky).
The whole process has become all consuming for me and I'm enjoying every minute of the planning. Once you've put aside all those obstacles the whole process can be much less terrifying and much more exciting. :yes
Ali

[Lupin]

We decided five years ago while backpacking in NZ. We returned to the UK for dh to train and for us to have a second (last) child.

Sometimes we've lost sight of our goal over the years as it hasn't always been the priority, but we never abandoned it.

In November 2001 we walked around the Diamond Lakes walk near Wanaka and the (then) three of us made a promise to return to NZ and make it our home. We laid three little stones together at a beautiful spot. Looking forward to returning there someday :)

[willowshouse]

It's reassuring to read your replies and realise I'm not the only one with 'stuff' - thanks for sharing. What doesn't help my resolve is the silent feedback we get from some friends .. you know when you say, "We're moving to NZ in Sept" and they say, "oh .." as if you just told them something they think they should be happy for but are actually thinking "what the hell are you doing and how could you?" One of OH's brothers is not even speaking to him which I am secretly furious about - but it doesn't seem to bother OH .. just as well really I suppose.

I don't want to feel guilty for wanting a different life, even if it means being away from some people I'd rather be close to .. not making a whole lot of sense I know but I spilt the first glass of wine and so I'm making the most of the second (can't be too bad though as I can still type)

:cheers
Dawn

[Diny]

Dawn

When we told my sister that we were emigrating she was very off with me. We're VERY close and I just couldn't understand her reaction, I thought she'd be happy for us.

Anyway - now we're further down the line, it transpires that she was actually heart broken and the silent treatment was her way of dealing with it.

We've been here a year now and the lines of communication are up and running. We speak on a very regular basis, I've been home for a trip and all of us are going home for a PROPER Christmas (sorry folks, but Xmas in NZ sucks !!!!! IMHO) - now she can see that she's not losing us she's back on form. Maybe this is what is happening with your bro in law.

Either way - all the best - keep us posted.

Diny

[Moorf]

From hatching the idea through to selling up and leaving? 6 months.... life's too short.

[Diny]

From hatching the idea through to selling up and leaving? 6 months.... life's too short.


Lucky you - selling your house in such a short time. Wonder what the average time is to sell a property in the UK. That's what held us up once the decision was made - guess that's what holds most folks up too - blooming frustrating !!!!!!!

Diny

[Moorf]

Very lucky, but properties were flying off the shelf in Scotland when we left. Having said that, I sold my rental flat in Sussex in just under 4 weeks at the end of last year.

Just stating our timelines, that's all... :roll in that we didn't decide 5 yrs ago that NZ was for us...

I'll expand - we've no kids and neither of our families were phased by our decision - it's what they're used to, we're the sort of couple who just "does" that sort of thing, mostly without thinking too long and hard about it too.

We don't have kids, that helps ALOT (no guilt for dragging them away from granny and grandad, no worries about schools which in turn means more choices of places to live, work at home jobs (Woz starts work from home next month), good $$ situation, parents and siblings who think what we've done is great and can't wait to follow if they can, grandparents who wish they'd done it back in the 50's and didn't and can't support us enough). Add to that my father who I've nearly lost on two occasions and who is my inspiration for "just doing it" as he now does because life really can be too short. Throw into the pot my mother-in-law who has made us promise not to look after her ourselves when she's older as she's just been through 9 years of that herself and said it ruined her life.

So, that's where I'm coming from. We're all different, here for different reasons and have different family and social backgrounds. That's ours/mine.

My initial response was probably a bit glib. But don't for one minute think I don't fully appreciate what others go through to make the decision. I have many friends here who have been through it and shown me exactly what it's like and I count myself, and Woz, VERY lucky to have been as settled and happy with our lives here as we are.

[Diny]

My initial response was probably a bit glib. But don't for one minute think I don't fully appreciate what others go through to make the decision. I have many friends here who have been through it and shown me exactly what it's like and I count myself, and Woz, VERY lucky to have been as settled and happy with our lives here as we are.

Oh no way - I wasn't thinking that at all - it's just that I remember the hell we went through with the house sale and how it really started to 'do our heads in' in the end. I know it's a thorn in alot of others sides too. Thankfully that's all in the past now - and houses over here sell like wild fire in comparison.

Diny

[Carol]

We're all different, here for different reasons and have different family and social backgrounds.

I have many friends here who have been through crap and shown me exactly what it's like and I count myself, and Woz, VERY lucky to have been as settled and happy with our lives here as we are.

How true Helen.
It amazes me how different everyone's experiences are - and yet we've all basically done the same thing.


I honestly cant remember how long it took us - I know it was a mad rush at the end though.....THAT sounds familiar!
:laugh

[willowshouse]

I guess I can't know what it feels like to be the one who has been 'left' so I'll bear that in mind..

Still looking forward to the move, especially as our NZ friends are visiting for the next 3 weeks :nice1 House is now 'on the market' .. just waiting for the 'selected' to turn into whatever comes next!

Dawn