Avalon
14th July 2006, 04:46 PM
Well, blow me over with a feather – we have made 18 months as expats!
That makes it time for a(nother) mega post.
Firstly – I am so glad we did this. I never wanted to emigrate – it’s not on my “101 things to do before...” list. This is so out of left field for me – a homebody through and through that it’s not funny. And yet now I’ve done it and I’m here – I cant really see myself doing anything else. I guess that means I’m settled then? Its odd, but I can’t remember when I became “at home” here; it’s just that I can’t remember NOT feeling at home for a long time. Even my trip back “home” (the other one) hasn’t changed the fact that “home” is now here. Blimey this sounds screwy even to me! Maybe everyone should grab a glass of something then this will make sense.
I’m not even sure I would do anything differently. Well, apart from going on that “other” forum after we arrived. (Need an emoticon that shudders in horror to go in here.) Oh, and I wouldn’t have sold so much stuff before we came. Could really do with my ratchet tree lopper about now. And now I think about it – wouldn’t have so smugly told everyone before we came that I was going be rich cos we would be paying less taxes, and the cost of living was the square root of diddly squat. Or that we would be buying a second home within 6 months. And I’d have brought more food out with us. Other than that – wouldn’t change a thing!
Things on hindsight that I feel were really good things to have done: Not rushing to buy a house. I can hear the screams of protest already ;) . Its just that were we ended up was so far removed from what we wanted (swanky house at Days Bay – glorious views over the bay – beach at the door – plumbed in coffee machine – you get the picture) and yet it is actually the right house and the right place – even without the coffee machine – who needs one anyway – that what cafes are for. I can never work out whether those that buy within days of landing are a/ mad, or b/ 100 times braver than me. Well, the long haul worked for us, it gave us time to really look at different areas and get solid info on them before we moved.
Also, I feel that we made a huge leap forward in not believing we knew everything about the place. It was amazing how arrogant our pre-conceptions were really. I’m sure on our 2nd recon trip the locals we spoke to must of thought we were a/ barmy or b/ blind to be so smugly saying that everything world be sweetness and light here, After all – it couldn’t possible be as bad as in the UK. The arrogance soon dissipated when we moved here and reality struck. You have no idea how sincerely grateful I am to a couple of friends we made from OH’s work who told us how it was and how to deal with things. Not the least of which was to buy Best Foods Mayo :nice1 .
But overall – the one thing that kept me going when it got really tough is that back in the UK, before we left, I had fixed firmly in my mind that I must have missed something. Everything about NZ looked perfect. 2 trips and our enthusiasm still wasn’t dented. We couldn’t see a thing wrong with the place. And yet a part of me figured that there was something we were bound to have gotten wrong. Even through all the arrogant stuff about “its got to better than this”. So when we came over – we made ourselves be prepared for a shock. We had no idea what it was going to be, but we knew there was going to something we juts had not got right. For us it was the cost of living. Suddenly I was having kittens about how we were going to manage. I sorted it out after a while, but I did find it helped to have had just a little wiggle room in my preconceptions. Of course now it’s expanded to a lot of wiggle room :) .
I think in the last 18 months, we have learned so much about who we are. Not all of it good to know – but ho hum. I doubt many people will make the move and not be altered or affected by it someway. I have found it very hard to adjust to life here. Its just so different from “home”, I found it really “alien” for a long time. I know I’m not the only one to have gone through that. And I had a tough time because there were quite a few things I found I really, truly disliked about NZ. And it’s not always easy to reconcile that with also really loving the place. So I’m left with the belief that in fact you do not have to love NZ 100% to be happy or successful here. It ok to dislike estate agents, education, sausages, TV, the banks or whatever. You can still be a happy bunny (or migrant) without accepting everything about the place is tip top.
To people who are still to make the move, I would say:
Be open to everything that you are offered here. You don’t have to accept it all, but you never know where it might lead. Sometimes stepping outside your box (even more than you did to sell up and get on the plane) can get you things you never knew were there. Especially – meet people. Brits or Kiwis or otherwise, you don’t have to ignore other expats. A stranger is only a friend you haven’t met yet – but they will always stay a stranger if you never say hello. And the more new friends you make – the easier it will be to settle.
And there is no “One True path” to successful immigration. We are all different, that doesn’t make us wrong. If you find it tricky – it does not make you a “Bad Migrant” or someone who should have stayed at home.
Good luck to everyone. :cheers
That makes it time for a(nother) mega post.
Firstly – I am so glad we did this. I never wanted to emigrate – it’s not on my “101 things to do before...” list. This is so out of left field for me – a homebody through and through that it’s not funny. And yet now I’ve done it and I’m here – I cant really see myself doing anything else. I guess that means I’m settled then? Its odd, but I can’t remember when I became “at home” here; it’s just that I can’t remember NOT feeling at home for a long time. Even my trip back “home” (the other one) hasn’t changed the fact that “home” is now here. Blimey this sounds screwy even to me! Maybe everyone should grab a glass of something then this will make sense.
I’m not even sure I would do anything differently. Well, apart from going on that “other” forum after we arrived. (Need an emoticon that shudders in horror to go in here.) Oh, and I wouldn’t have sold so much stuff before we came. Could really do with my ratchet tree lopper about now. And now I think about it – wouldn’t have so smugly told everyone before we came that I was going be rich cos we would be paying less taxes, and the cost of living was the square root of diddly squat. Or that we would be buying a second home within 6 months. And I’d have brought more food out with us. Other than that – wouldn’t change a thing!
Things on hindsight that I feel were really good things to have done: Not rushing to buy a house. I can hear the screams of protest already ;) . Its just that were we ended up was so far removed from what we wanted (swanky house at Days Bay – glorious views over the bay – beach at the door – plumbed in coffee machine – you get the picture) and yet it is actually the right house and the right place – even without the coffee machine – who needs one anyway – that what cafes are for. I can never work out whether those that buy within days of landing are a/ mad, or b/ 100 times braver than me. Well, the long haul worked for us, it gave us time to really look at different areas and get solid info on them before we moved.
Also, I feel that we made a huge leap forward in not believing we knew everything about the place. It was amazing how arrogant our pre-conceptions were really. I’m sure on our 2nd recon trip the locals we spoke to must of thought we were a/ barmy or b/ blind to be so smugly saying that everything world be sweetness and light here, After all – it couldn’t possible be as bad as in the UK. The arrogance soon dissipated when we moved here and reality struck. You have no idea how sincerely grateful I am to a couple of friends we made from OH’s work who told us how it was and how to deal with things. Not the least of which was to buy Best Foods Mayo :nice1 .
But overall – the one thing that kept me going when it got really tough is that back in the UK, before we left, I had fixed firmly in my mind that I must have missed something. Everything about NZ looked perfect. 2 trips and our enthusiasm still wasn’t dented. We couldn’t see a thing wrong with the place. And yet a part of me figured that there was something we were bound to have gotten wrong. Even through all the arrogant stuff about “its got to better than this”. So when we came over – we made ourselves be prepared for a shock. We had no idea what it was going to be, but we knew there was going to something we juts had not got right. For us it was the cost of living. Suddenly I was having kittens about how we were going to manage. I sorted it out after a while, but I did find it helped to have had just a little wiggle room in my preconceptions. Of course now it’s expanded to a lot of wiggle room :) .
I think in the last 18 months, we have learned so much about who we are. Not all of it good to know – but ho hum. I doubt many people will make the move and not be altered or affected by it someway. I have found it very hard to adjust to life here. Its just so different from “home”, I found it really “alien” for a long time. I know I’m not the only one to have gone through that. And I had a tough time because there were quite a few things I found I really, truly disliked about NZ. And it’s not always easy to reconcile that with also really loving the place. So I’m left with the belief that in fact you do not have to love NZ 100% to be happy or successful here. It ok to dislike estate agents, education, sausages, TV, the banks or whatever. You can still be a happy bunny (or migrant) without accepting everything about the place is tip top.
To people who are still to make the move, I would say:
Be open to everything that you are offered here. You don’t have to accept it all, but you never know where it might lead. Sometimes stepping outside your box (even more than you did to sell up and get on the plane) can get you things you never knew were there. Especially – meet people. Brits or Kiwis or otherwise, you don’t have to ignore other expats. A stranger is only a friend you haven’t met yet – but they will always stay a stranger if you never say hello. And the more new friends you make – the easier it will be to settle.
And there is no “One True path” to successful immigration. We are all different, that doesn’t make us wrong. If you find it tricky – it does not make you a “Bad Migrant” or someone who should have stayed at home.
Good luck to everyone. :cheers