[Keith]

This has probably been asked a thousand times, so sorry for repeating.

Having applied for a job, I now have the Interview, which means that if we am successful I get to accept (or not) weather we head to NZ from the UK.

Having initally thought that this was a good idea doubts start to creep in.

the good and the bad list starts.
Good , The natural scenery (but the UK ain't bad either)
The lifestyle , thats a difficult one, as how do you know until you try.

our real problem is, is it that much better than the UK, bearing in mind I live in the fairly laid back (for the UK) safe, south west of the country with a reasonable house and reasonable paid job, but all jobs become a pain after a while. We both have an active outdoor life here. Some of which we would have to give up if moving to NZ as there area (Wellington) of the Job on offer would not offer the opurtunity to carry on these sports, except for Diving.

I suppose it doesn't help being offered a job in Wellington when I am not a city person, more at home in the sticks.

We are also just a couple with no chidren, and everyone seems to move with a family, so all the info is geared to that family lifestyle.

You start to wonder what will I gain moving to NZ.

what are the bad points that we should be aware of , as the official NZ site seems to paint an unbelivable rosey picture.

It's hard to make a informed decision without both the good and bad, and sorry for the fact that I am comparing to the UK, but afterall that is were I am moving from.

Your veiws and thoughts both good and bad would be apprecited

[ruthyroo]

Hi Keith

My OH and I moved out here 2 years ago, like you we are a young-ish couple with no kids, so hopefully our story might help you out (or confuse you even more!). We moved from Edinburgh to Rotorua then onto Dunedin.

On the good side, being in that situation and both working at relatively well paid jobs (for NZ) we found that we had plenty of money to live on in NZ, and were able to rent a fantastic house in a (rural) location that we would never have afforded in the UK. We did a lot of travelling throughout the NI, visited Oz a couple of times and the Cook Islands (good diving!). We bough kayaks and living beside a lake were able to use them frequently. So it was a nice life.

The down sides were - as for many - missing family and friends - though we got a lot of visitors. Also, TBH after a while we found NZ to be a wee bit boring - while outdoorsy stuff is good fun it's not a consuming passion for either of us, and we both really miss the buzz of Europe and the UK. I grew up on a farm in Scotland and always thought of myself as a country person - turns out I am more of a city girl than I thought - and NZ cities aren't up to much IMHO.

To answer some of your specifics:

Living in a city: NZ cities tend to be very suburban - lots of bungalows and extensive development rather than high rise / terraces (though the sections are shrinking all the time). Something in the region of 80% of people in NZ live in urban areas - despite the rural image. And you'll find that most of these people maintain their outdoorsy lifestyles with a passion. So living in the city is no real hindrance to that as long as you have transport. Finding a good rental property / area / buying somewhere that you feel comfortable is more than half the battle. We've tended to go for small settlements about 20 minutes drive from the city / town proper - so we still have neighbours, but there's a rural feel.

Better life in NZ: that's a hard one. We came out looking to have a bit of an adventure before settling down. So we didn't really come planning to stay forever, and haven't actually sold up in the UK. While we have had a good time (and a really poor time sometimes!) I think we've come to the conclusion that NZ isn't for us long-term. We both miss family and friends a lot, the job opportunities are not very exciting and the lack of cultural / historical / people buzz is something that I miss a lot. Call me shallow but I miss decent newspapers, historical buildings, my family, good delis and cheap holidays in France / Italy / Spain etc!! I want these things in my life again!

You're right, a lot of people on the boards are making the move for their kids as much as anything, and they find the move good / bad for different reasons - often because they are trying to make it work for a family on one NZ salary. If you have two decent salaries coming in and no kids, living in NZ can be a blast as you'll be very well off compared to the average household income, and this will enable you to do a lot of fun stuff and not really worry too much about money. If you are seriously into outdoorsy stuff to the exclusion of all else you will definitely fit in in NZ! Also, once you do get here, if you find you don't like living in Wellington you can always move once your visa stuff is sorted.

In summary: think hard about why you are considering making the move. If you are looking to have a bit of fun for a while, don't sell up all your assets in the UK and treat this as an extended working holiday. We kept our flat and the bulk of our savings in the UK - and I am really glad we did now - and have basically lived on what we earn here. This also gives you the chance to decide if NZ is for you, longer term, and how you feel about leaving family so far away. When you get here, you can do all the tramping, diving, sailing, kayaking, camping etc that you want to. You don't explain why your job will prevent you doing outdoorsy stuff - but in my experience most kiwis, including bosses, will expect you to values such activities above and beyond your working life!

HTH - sorry for the long post - it's a case of 'If i knew then what I know now...'! PS what does your partner think? are they keen to go?

[spudulike]

Hi Keith,

Thought I'd post from the family perspective ;)

We moved to NZ because like others we thought we could provide a better lfestyle for our children (aged 2 & 7 months). We've found that yes it is geared up towards young families but it hasn't given us anything we couldn't have found at home. We have found that a NZ lifestyle in some respects is no different from a UK one, ie. life anywhere is what you make it. If you are an outdoors person then there is loads to do here but there is fabulous scenery at home too (Dales, Lake District, Cotswolds, ALL of Scotland, Wales, etc, etc.....) therefore you can find things to do there too. We've also found things such as doctors and dentists are very expensive and obviously these are services you use more frequently with young children.

Like Ruth, I find NZ to be outstandingly beautiful but I can completely understand about it becoming boring too. We live in Wellington and whilst there is a lot of culture here I don't find it terribly exciting as there are so many more museums etc in the UK. Also the history here revolves around the Maori and last couple of hundred years so you will pretty much read the same history everywhere you visit whereas in the UK you can go to a different town and read about a different period of history. I also have to add that for somebody who could shop for England I don't buy ANYTHING here at all, the shopping is awful! We also thought like other Brits it would be lovely to escape the overcrowding in the UK, but to be honest I miss people - I hate feeling so isolated or walking down an empty street on a Saturday afternoon :(

I think that financially we are considerably worse of and cannot afford to save for our children's future here or pay into pensions if we stayed here. The cost of living is absolutely ridiculous too for very poor standards in housing etc. I also think for us we have found the crime rate and socio economic problems to be as frequent here as anywhere else which means that we would be staying somewhere no safer and no better and being poorer for it. Therefore, not providing the life for our children we came here to do (hope that makes sense).

I think the best thing you can do is look carefully at why you are leaving and figure out whether NZ will provide what you're looking for or whether you already have it in the UK and just want an adventure. I think you may be no better or worse off in lifestyle but would be financially which is something to consider if planning a family. I would also highly recommend coming here for perhaps a working holiday if you are just fancying a change because NZ is a beautiful country with so much to see and do - and you may find you would love it long term.

I an trying to sound honest rather than too negative as I am glad we've made the move here and will never wonder what if when we return to the UK. I think it help's that we never left the UK because we didn't like it. In fact I love the history, the scenery in the UK is also very beautiful and having Europe on your doorstep is something you don't appreciate until you're here.

I'm sure you'll have many people posting with a more positive outlook than me. I think maybe I'm more materialistic than I realised.

Good luck

Louise

[K&CS]

This is practically impossible to answer, because we all want different things out of life and I don't think a lot of people know if it's for them until they actually get here. We have children, so our needs probably differ slightly to yours.

The bad things about NZ are well covered on here - standard of housing and low wages. The two main things that send people back to the UK (or wherever they're from) are homesickness and money. Nothing you can really do about the homesickness bit - it will either hit you or it won't and if it does, you have to find your own way to deal with it.

Like you, we were from a very nice part of the UK, lovely scenery etc (although not on the scale of here) and were perfectly happy with our lives. We'd also reached a time when we were stagnating and needed a bit of adventure and we just loved Christchurch from a previous visit (not a recce - a holiday!), so we decided to go for it. Unlike a lot of people, we're better off financially than we were in the UK (we could take advantage of the ridiculously high prices of houses in the area we're from) - no mortgage now and high interest rates make it very comfortable for us (and this was one of our driving reasons for coming here). If you have a mortgage, then unfortunately the reverse is true. I can also relate to people saying life could get boring here - that's why I've chosen a village near a city with lots to do - we've got about 7 or 8 good resaurants (not to mention all the good coffee shops), 3 hairdressers, 3 art galleries, 3 play parks, 3 beaches (when the tide's out, and then you can just go round the corner to Taylor's Mistake), a splash pool, an outdoor pool, a library, a cinema, 2 schools and the list goes on.... I've met lots of people - probably because I've got kids, I have to say. I couldn't have managed living in an isolated place - the sort of place a lot of people come to NZ for - I'd have probably been begging to return by now if I had - especially during the winter. I'm probably still in the honeymoon period, but most of the time, I can't believe how lucky we are to be here - we've got the best of all worlds.

That probably doesn't really help you. You might love it, you might hate it - I'd say, you'll never know till you try. Who wants a life full of regrets? You can always go back - a lot do (although a proportion of those come back again). You'd probably be best off speaking to someone in Welly because I don't know it at all!

Kate

[Diny]

This discussion is always very interesting. Also very helpful too because you're bound to get a good balance of opinions.

What you need to bear in mind when reading all the replies, is that no two opinions/experiences/stories will be the same. I firmly believe that how one will 'cope' in NZ depends largely on preconceived ideas and the kind of life you had before getting here.

There is no right or wrong, and I totally agree when people say that the only way you're going to find out is to try for yourself. Maybe the suggestion of a working holiday rather than a one way move is worth bearing in mind.

I can only speak for myself but I have to admit that life here in NZ doesn't offer anything that wasn't on offer at home. I too came from a very quiet, rural location in the UK, I'm a farmers daughter and a country girl through and through, have never been bothered by the reported high crime in the UK and was very happy there.

NZ is beautiful - there's no getting away from that fact. However, I need more than scenery to make me feel as though my life has taken a huge step for the better. As far as coming to NZ for the children - I don't buy into that one at all. Sadly my children are far more 'street wise' than they ever were back in the UK. Their knowledge of (what I consider to be unsuitable information) has increased 10 fold since getting here. Although I'm slowly starting to come to grips with the education system here in NZ, nobody will ever be able to convince me that it's better than the UK. Yes I agree that the UK system is very demanding, pushy and full of management red tape, but I'd rather have that than the extreme other end of the spectrum which I find is the case over here. My boys are receiving a much more 'watered down' education over here and the fact remains that if we should return to the UK they would be way behind their peers.

As far as money goes, we are actually better off over here. We are in a rather unique situation whereas my husband has the same job here as he did back home, he works for an oil company and his 'office' is anywhere on the globe they wish to send him, he just 'commutes' in and out of NZ now instead of the UK. I know for a fact that we would not be able to maintain our lifestyle (which believe me is nothing flash) if we had to get by on an average NZ wage.

I too fall into the category of those missing the history, the buildings, the buzz, the people etc of the UK. Shopping here is dreadful, especially clothes - low quality high prices. On the other hand though, supermarket shopping is pretty good and just about everything you want/are used to is available here.

This all seems very negative but I'm simply telling you how it is for me. I must tell you that I like NZ very much - it's hard not to. But when I actually sit and analyse (sp) my basic quality of life there is nothing here that I didn't have at home. I'm not saying NZ is a worse place to live, but I'm am saying that IMHO it's no better.

One thing I think everybody will agree on is the fact that you must take all the information you receive, both positive and negative, take it all in, make whatever decisions you have to make for YOURSELVES - and if an extended working holiday helps you come to those decisions then maybe that's the best thing to do.

Whatever happens I wish you all the luck in the world.

Diny

[Avalon]

Blimey - some truly outstanding points here.

Keith - I think you are in fact taking a very positive approach here, and if i was in your shoes (and it seems i wasnt far off) i would also find it difficult to toss up whther the move improves life or not. If id lived in the South West - not sure I would have left to be honest - though the weather does seem better here in the summer.

About the only other thing I have to offer, is that, like Diny - we are actually better off financially here in NZ than we were in the UK. It is possible, but for my money (excuse the pun) you probably have to "Think outside the box" most of the time to make the numbers work. We have done this with a mix of watching what we spend so its less than we earn, saving to invest and getting educated about how exactly to invest and how to use the money to our advantage rather than the bank's.

We have no children, and also do not consider ourselves "City People". We lived in teh city for 9 months just to find our feet, and are now about an hour and a half out - right back in the sticks. We live on one salary - by NZ standards quite a healthy one, and because we are careful with our money - cant afford to be flash. But that should pay off in a few years.

Becasue we are not particularly outdoorsy people, teh sceneray isnt as big a draw for us, and of course - we had that in the UK. We have found that although many aspect of our lives are NOT better, we really do notice more freedom. Its quite intangible, and therefore hard to put into words or to quantify, but we feel less "put upon" by the world in general (if that makes sense), and more able to concentrate on building the life WE want rather than the life we are told we should have.

Its a very good thread you started - thanks.

[ruthyroo]

We also thought like other Brits it would be lovely to escape the overcrowding in the UK, but to be honest I miss people - I hate feeling so isolated or walking down an empty street on a Saturday afternoon

So true - our first night in Rotorua we thought we had landed in a ghost town, by venturing out for dinner at about 7pm and the streets were deserted - and this was a Saturday night! No one ever came to NZ for its night time entertainment value.

We have found that although many aspect of our lives are NOT better, we really do notice more freedom. Its quite intangible, and therefore hard to put into words or to quantify, but we feel less "put upon" by the world in general (if that makes sense), and more able to concentrate on building the life WE want rather than the life we are told we should have.

That's true for me also - I've been trying to work out where that feeling comes from. I think partly it is being so far away from close friends and family. On the one hand they can provide a lot of support, but other people's expectations can hold you back if you let them. I certainly feel freer to take risks without my mother looking over my shoulder!! Also all the time that we used to spend at family events, having lunch / dinner / weekends away with friends etc has suddenly become free time to spend together or on other hobbies and interest. Which is quite nice - but also a bit sad. We are definitely learning a lot about what is important in life for us, without too much outside influence or pressure.

Like the other posters so far, we were definitely better off here on two decent salaries than we were in the UK (pity we chucked it in to struggle along on one - but that's another sorry tale!), even just with renting and not bringing a lump sum of any sort across. I think the people that have struggled the most financially are families who are trying to maintain a UK-level family lifestyle on a single NZ salary - and who have found that their mortgage-free dream just hasn't happened. And they have to do it with none of the free babysitting type support that families can provide. It must be really tough to try and live up to the kiwi dream in that circumstance.

[dave k]

Yeah, all very well-informed and true comments here. You'd do well to note.

I'll only add that Welly is less like a city in the way you'll be used to - more of a big town. But drive 5 mins outside the city centre & you're away from it. It's very beautiful - still takes my breath away every day.

Even today, while it rains and you're basking in an amazing UK heatwave.

[Moorf]

Welcome to the forum. :)

Great posts there and nothing much to add.

We too don't have, or ever will have, children. Not our thing! Nor are cities. We're in our 30's (just :D ) and also came from a rural lifestyle in Scotland with good jobs and salaries. We earn less here than in the UK, in fact we earn 3 times less here than in the UK. We have a smaller mortgage here and one well paid I.T job (hubby). We have a great lifestyle, we're not hugely outdoorsy (you won't find us cycling 25km uphill before breakfast) but we do prefer small rural towns, living in the countryside and the "freedom" perceived or not, that it brings, having few neighbours at arms length - we love our own company. We've never been the sort of household where people come and go. We've never lived near to our parents and even when we only lived in Scotland saw family maybe once a year.

We're not the "average" emigrating couple and I've commented many a time that we are very much in the minority here in the ex-pat community as a child-free married couple (or whatever PC word they've thought up for it now :D ). Having said that we have a fantastic group of friends here, Kiwi/Brit/Canadian/Dutch and I'm a dab hand a babysitting :D (beyond nappy stage only....!)

There's one big disadvantage of not being a family with children that I can think of, if I'm pressed, and that is that having no children means you aren't as exposed to other Kiwi's as you might otherwise be. It's as much of a handicap as you want to make it - we've made friends via neighbours, work and generally "putting ourselves out there"!!

Oh, and totally agree on missing history and having Europe on the doorstep!

So much for just popping in to read a few messages!!

Moorf

[Diny]

There's one big disadvantage of not being a family with children that I can think of, if I'm pressed, and that is that having no children means you aren't as exposed to other Kiwi's as you might otherwise be. It's as much of a handicap as you want to make it - we've made friends via neighbours, work and generally "putting ourselves out there"!!

Moorf


That's a good point to make Moorf, however you may not be 'missing out' as much as you think. Because we live in a small rural town/village we're happy to let our boys walk to and from school by themselves. Therefore I (thankfully) don't have to do that standing at the school gate thing (it never has been my scene right from the day they started). Neither of my boys (again thankfully) are that into sports so I'm spared the purgatory of having to stand with 'cheer leading' parents on the sidelines of sports frields (you have no idea how grateful I am about that).

I can honestly say that I've not met any friends via school - however I have met and made alot of other firends basically (like you say) by putting myself 'out there'.

Hhhmmmmm I wonder .... does my dislike of standing whittering at the school gate with other parents make me a bad mother? If it does, I'm sure somebody will let me know.

Diny

[Moorf]

I have to say, Diny, that had I been a mother the thought of having to stand and witter outside a school would possibly have been my worst nightmare.... that and having to walk to school with them - being a boarder had its advantages - i.e. no walk to school :laugh :laugh

[westies]

So many good points, but maybe as there is just the two of you, you should come live the adventure for a couple of years, then decide after that where is best for you, at least then you can know for sure, rather than wondering, what if!! And on 2 salaries you can have a fantastic time over here for sure!!

[Moorf]

Westie - another good point, the bonus of not having kids is that you don't have to worry about schooling/family ties/friendships etc and are much more flexible.

We came with no firm ideas of if this was somewhere we'd be for 6 months, 6 years or 60 (hmm I'll be quite old then...) it was a case of suck it and see (we'd never been to NZ before). I feel we were in a much better position to do this with no family in tow.

By the way, I know a few couples with no kids in Wellington who are enjoying a great lifestyle, and I gather it needn't be a city lifestyle either. :nice1

[veronica]

Think that once you have had the idea you have to follow it through for yourselves otherwise you could end up with a nasty case of the 'what ifs'. one of the things the trip over here would give you that you couldn't get in the Uk is the very experience of doing the whole living abroad thing. Even if you were to go back it has to broaden your views on things.

[Ant&Eve]

Wow – there’s a lot of heartfelt truths here in this thread!

We don’t have children and live about 20klms west of Christchurch on 10 acres. My perceptions after 12 months down here are:

On the plus side:
We feel more “free” here than we did in the UK. I felt in the UK that more and more the government was intruding into people’s lives (& digging into your pocket), freedoms (ancient and hard won) were being eroded or ridden roughshod over and Blair’s nanny state would soon be telling us at what time we should to go to bed.
We’re financially about the same if not a wee bit better off (now that my wife is working :-) )
We would have been hard pushed to have the rural life we enjoy here in the UK – it was probably achievable but we’d have both been working like fools to pay for it.
We love the low population density here – I love fly fishing and whilst fishing some of the most productive trout rivers in the world (in spectacular scenery), it’s rare to see anyone else. Also popping into Christchurch is a dream, you can usually park directly outside the shop you’re visiting.
We’re country folk (yup, happy to be a yokel!) and the rural life down here in Canterbury is suiting us just fine. It seem a slower pace of life overall.
We’re a long long way from many of the worlds problems.
New Zealand will never join the EU ;-)
Kiwi’s have in our experience, been incredibly friendly and welcoming, we’ve made some good friends here.
I don’t feel there’s the same level of casual nasty violence that seemed to affect many UK market towns and villages on a Friday/Saturday night (but, I also admit that in the UK we lived in a village whereas here we’re out in the sticks and hence less exposed to such things).
The Crusaders just won the Super 14 (allegedly, fog meant no one actually saw the final game), Canterbury beat Wairarapa Bush 96-10 in the last home game of the NPC, the All Blacks recently thrashed the Wallabies here in Christchurch and hopefully will do so again this Saturday!

On the negative side
Helen Clark isn’t that much different than Tony Blair and New Zealand is slowly drifting in the same direction as the UK in terms on nannying it’s citizens.
Wages are low and seriously lagging behind inflation as well as other nations (about 35% lower than in Oz for example).
It’s been tough to break into the Kiwi senior management level – I had to take a step down in order to get into the job market, but after 12 months I’m kinda back on track. It took my wife almost 12 months to get a job at all, but she’s just started in a GM role.
New Zealand isn’t a dog friendly place – you can’t take dogs into national parks etc.
Kiwi’s are using some 90% of the worlds supply of 1080 poison and indiscriminately aerially dropping it over huge swaths of the country.
Kiwi’s are ludicrously over extracting the water aquifers and drying up rivers in the pursuit of dairy profits – it’s not quite the 100% pure green that they like to portray.
Family and old friends are a long way away (– but, email, text, webcams all make the world a fairly small place).
Financially – we’re about equal or now at least, slightly better off. I think for most folk, us included initially, you’re going to be no better off than you were in the UK cash wise.

Huum – overall I’d say that, on balance, our “quality” of life here is about the same as it was in the UK (miss family & friends, love the outdoors life and freedoms here).

Personally I feel happier here than I did there. This feels a more positive “can do” & friendlier place to be, more optimistic for the future, less onerous in terms of it’s political impact on personal freedoms, more a place where you can live your life the way you want to, more looking positively towards the future rather than the past (I’ve just finished rereading Jeremy Paxton’s “The English” which charts the loss of the English identity – hence my melancholic view) – and although it sounds daft – I’d begun to feel that England was no longer my country, somehow I’d lost that connection with my land, it had moved on and left me behind (as a middle aged (42) chap from middle England – Stoke on Trent actually). I think now that really, that feeling was what spurred me to look for somewhere else to live. Having lived in or extensively visited the USA, France, Germany, Holland, Australia and Canada – I’m now really very smugly happy I chose New Zealand overall, and South Island in particular as the place to try! Loving it here.

[Avalon]

On the negative side
Helen Clark isn’t that much different than Tony Blair .
I bet if George Bush called her and said "Yo! Clarky!" she would beat the stuffing out of him :D

[susanlin]

Hi

So interesting to read all your posts - I found myself nodding my head emphatically to many of the comments!
I don't want to go into great detail about my feelings - suffice to say that NZ is not where I want to spend the rest of my life. I miss friends and family more each day and still find ( after 2 years) that the homesickness is crippling.
I love Christchurch; my home; my job and the relaxing, quiet lifestyle we have. But it's not enough. It will have to be for now though, as I can't return to the UK. I just could not uproot my 2 teenagers again after the stressful and unhappy time they both had when we arrived here. I am glad to say they are happy and settled now, doing well at school and college and have made so many friends. Without wishing to sound a martyr, as long as my children are happy, that is good enough for me and I'll stick it out for now. But one day I will return to the UK, I have no doubt.

[Keith]

Boy o boy you have all given us a lot to think about, and I appreciate your Honesty in what you say.

Think we will be having a few more nights discussing this and then a few more.


Might even go to the Pub, (oops there's another one I might miss)

Think I will have to go to the Interview with a few quastions and see how it goes,

So I may be back for a bit more info

Oh the job is in the extraction industry, so the hours might be more than I am on already.

Thanks please keep replying as the more info the better.

[dave k]

I know the whole wages debate has been done to death - both here and in other threads - but it's something that I never fully considered the impact of before I came to NZ, since I was never used to big bucks anyway.
I am currently earning the same money as I was when I was 16 and working a summer holiday job in the UK!! It's a good thing that I have other work to top it up, or I'd be seriously poor.
This, of course, wouldn't matter if the cost of living was in proportion as in other low-wage countries...but it's not. Pretty much everything costs ( in Wellington & Auckland anyway) almost the same as it would in the UK.
I'm at a loss to explain how kiwis manage to afford houses, drive around in 4x4s, go on holiday, etc. etc. but then, they all seem to have maxed out credit cards & hefty mortgages too. So maybe that's it.

I'm actually going back to England for a while - not for good, but just to try & earn some better money to go travelling again - but I can't recommend you try NZ & see for yourself highly enough. It's a wonderful place & I will be back here at some point...maybe when I'm an old man :)

[K&CS]

Excuse me, Moorf and Diny, I do not witter at the school gates! I have very intelligent, meaninful conversations :laugh. Seriously though, how are friendships you make at the school gates of less meaning than ones you make from 'putting yourselft out there'? Just because we're mothers, we can have interesting things to say to eachother. Surely all friendships begin by striking up banal conversation, wherever you happen to do it!!

I do know what you mean though - before I came here, I used to sit in my car until I knew the kids would be out of school and run in and get them. I had plenty of friends anyway, and felt no need to be a part of the school thing. I also used to boast in quite a superior manner that I had never been to a mother/toddler group in my life. Now that I'm away from everyone I know, I do the lot - 'witter' at the school gates, go to Plunket coffee groups (although we don't actually drink coffee which I've never understood), baby music groups, help at school etc. I have to say, it's helped me to settle in enormously, so don't knock it!! I've met some really nice people - even though they are mothers who take their kids to school!!

Kate

[Diny]

Excuse me, Moorf and Diny, I do not witter at the school gates! I have very intelligent, meaninful conversations :laugh.

Seriously though, how are friendships you make at the school gates of less meaning than ones you make from 'putting yourselft out there'?




My comment was made abit tongue in cheek but I genuinely apologies for any offence caused.

It's just that for me personally I've never been the type to want to stand and talk about kids. I fully understand that once freindships are forged the topic of conversation will move onto more interesting subjects, it's just that for me that initial purgatory of having to stand and listen to how somebody's little darling has done this that and the other while waiting for more meaningful conversations to come along is just not an option.


I would never suggest that friendships which are made by 'putting myself out there' are more meaningful than friendships made at the school gate (in fact I don't think I did say that), it's just that since I've got here, the 'putting myself out there' friendships are the only ones I've made - and I'm more than happy with that.

On Tuesday I had to collect the boys from school, I did actually stand at the gates waiting for them ..... and YES, I felt like a fish out of water. I just don't do 'that scene' - full credit to those who do.

Like you - when I was in the UK I would sit in the car until the kids came out then just go and get them and then leave straight away. I've always existed in a very 'non girly' environment, I was very much a tom boy - still am in fact - and I relate to men much easier than women. When I was pregnant I was horrified at the thought that I may have girl babies - something I never wanted, I will never be able to explain how delighted I am that I have boys - may sound abit odd but it's just my personal preference. Maybe that goes a little way to explaining my dislike of standing at the school gates ..... a location overun by 'wittering women'. If there were a few men there talking about the oil industry or farming then I'd be there with bells on !!!!!!

Yep - I'm just one strange cookie.

Diny

[Diny]

P.S

Sorry for hijacking the thread.

Diny

[Moorf]

Not so strange - I'm the same, have never been girly and god only knows how I'd have coped at the school gates!! I'd be talking to the kids :D

[K&CS]

Diny, I was being tongue in cheek too and you certainly didn't offend me! I too must apologise for hijacking this thread....

[Diny]

No worries at all. The diversity of subjects discussed on this forum never ceases to amaze me. I love it !!!!

Diny

[zardell]

it's just that for me that initial purgatory of having to stand and listen to how somebody's little darling has done this that and the other while waiting for more meaningful conversations to come along is just not an option.Diny



Amen to that Diny........couldn't agree more - takes all sorts to make a world eh?

Julie

xx

[wilson182]

The bad things about NZ are well covered on here - standard of housing and low wages. The two main things that send people back to the UK (or wherever they're from) are homesickness and money. Nothing you can really do about the homesickness bit - it will either hit you or it won't and if it does, you have to find your own way to deal with it.


Kate

I do agree with that, and I guess I have been lucky that we havent been hit with homesickness, and moneywise, well we are completely debt free here (not even a credit card) hense we have more money to spend on enjoying life here. We will have to have a mortgage, but with both of us working I think we will still be ok.

Workwise, Its safe to say Hubby is not overly happy at work. The NZ way of doing things is completely different from the Uk way and I think he finds it frustrating at times, he finds certain things time consuming and backwards. There is also a slight element of the kiwis looking after their own, but Im not completely sure thats just not me being paranoid (he finds his boss a control freak!). As far as my work goes, its good.....getting up for work is a pain in the proverbial wherever you live in the world. I have found the childcare here to be competely satisfactory for my needs. Careerwise, well hubby is looking into other options that may not have been available to him in the Uk so we will have to see.

Lifestyle wise....I love it here and always have. We have one child and we seem to have much more freedom (I know this has already been said, and its hard to explain, but we do). We have more disposable income, PLUS, compared to where we lived in the UK, a trip to the beach is free (apart from the icecream eh Kate!!!) No extortionate (sp) car parking fees, kids splash pools and playgrounds (usually, not always) vandalizum free. Family days too, The teddy bears picnic, xmas in the park to name a couple...Top Ten holiday hotels are reasonably priced and have served us well on our trips round New Zealand. Living in a detached house was a pipe dream in England, something we could Never have acheived.

Why would you do it......... Because you can?? Because you will never have to say what if?? Because of the sheer adventure of it??

Debs
xx

[willowshouse]

it's just that for me that initial purgatory of having to stand and listen to how somebody's little darling has done this that and the other while waiting for more meaningful conversations to come along is just not an option.



:laugh .. if the conversation in our school playground was as boring as that I'd hide in the car too! I enjoy listening to the gossip .. 'is that the one whose husband enjoys putting his hands up other women's skirts?!' It's like any other opportunity to make friends - initially it's a little tedious but after a while you 'click' with the ones that are good fun. We've had many an enjoyable night out and the children are the last thing we talk about ;)

sorry .. hijacked .. etc

Dawn

[Keith]

Someone Phone The Police I've Been Hijacked By Mothers Talking At The Gate, And Another One Hiding In The Getaway Car