[jocalla]

Well done my last farewell today with my sister and her 4 kids and it was a killer :wah Been crying now for two days getting round the family and feel totally drained. We all new it was coming and said we would all be brave for the sake of the kids but in we all knew deep down the final hug would be the one to get us all going :( . This is the first time in my life that I have been away from them permently, every adventure we have in every country we have lived in has been with the 4 of us, mum, dad, me and my sister, never been apart for any christmas's, and this will be the first. Just one more goodbye tomorrow to my parents but they will be coming over to nz in January so I am pretty sure we will be fine with that goodbye, but who knows, emotions are running wild at the moment. :hopeso .
My husband, (who has only ever seen his dad cry once in his life) was so brave. On the final goodbye to him his dad just completly broke down (he is in his 70's). That was it for me, I was crying so much but my husband (Jon) just kept it all in, probably had a good cry when he was on his own, he was just being strong for us all at the time.
Now just trying to be positive, I have no doubts we are doing the best thing and on a positive we received an e-mail from a company we gave my husbands cv to at the nz expo which asked him to phone them up as soon as we arrive in Christchurch as they are very keen to meet him, so that is one worry off my mind :clap . It came out of the blue because when we spoke to the guy at the expo he just said give the christchurch office a ring and see if they are interested (he was the nelson manager), so he must have forwarded the cv to the christchurch branch, so it must have impressed them to contact us like that :hopeso anyway.
So this will be my last post until we get online, which shouldn't be too long as we are taking the laptop, and will most definately keep you all updated to hopefully help anyone out going through the same as us, as since finding this site the information on here has helped us an awful lot, and I really appreciate it :cheers . And best of luck for you all in your own adventures in this life, and make the most of the opportunities ahead :nice1

Joanne (former brit, german,aussie and soon to be kiwi) ;)

[lindajax]

Joanne,
Gosh, I'm fillin up myself.
The thing I fear most is the goodbyes. We decided on a leaving do then personals later to try to soften it abit but I know it will be tough. :wah

Good luck with the flight etc etc. :hopeso
Lets us know how you are as soon as you can

Love
Linda xxxx

[Diny]

Thanks for that Joanne ..... I've started the day with a good sob.

Goodbyes are something we all have to go through, I know all of us are dreading that moment.

I'm sure that things will be fine, and with your folks visiting in January you'll be together again in no time.

All the best for your journey and keep us posted.

Diny

[jo b]

Joanne

I am sitting here with tears rolling down my face as I read your post. I am dreading the goodbyes.

After a turbulant adolesence and teenage years not really getting along with my parents I am now more close to them now than I have ever been and dread the goodbyes. Mum and Dad are both 64 but at least they support our move as they wished they had done it in the 70's when we were kids. My daughter is my mums first grandchild and they are very close, although my mum says she will visit I know it will tear her heart apart.

I am very close to my sister and like you we all holiday together and take turns to hold Christmas between me, mum and sister :( .

But I am not doing this move for me I am doing it for my family, my 2 kids who I want to grow up in a society were they are taught respect from every avenue of life, where they are safe to play and be kids and don't have sex thrown at them every time tv is switched (NZ telly is crap). I want them to be people who are respected for who they are not what latest gadgets they have. I know N has a certain amount of materialism but not to the extent that it is in this country.

Anyway I am now blabbering as well as blubbering but just want to say my thoughts are with you as you say your farewells. Goodbye really does make it sound final doesn't it?

Best wishes Jo

[Kim39]

Jo,

My reasons are similar to your own. We tried this avenue a while ago but without luck(ambulanceman not recognised occupation) but at that time it was for ourselves, totally different reasons now though.
We have decided on a BIG party when its time for us to leave these shores for pastures new.
As far as parents go i had a similar situation as yourself, didn't exactly have a good son parent relationship, i was closer to my mum than dad, but since my mum died in 96 i have got closer to my dad(he's 74). Now when approached with idea of NZ reply from pop's was "you never asked to be born" go for it. I do feel slightly guilty leaving him and taking grandkids away, but he doesn't really have a lot to do with them so its not a real big loss to him i would like to think. I have a sister living in Cornwall who doesn't bother with him as such so i do feel that i just maybe doing the wrong thing, but i can't take the chance, i have to go with my feelings.
Am sure when that day comes i will have a tear in my eyes, but probably thats normal whatever relationship you have with your parents.
As for the party, boy am i going to enjoy it. :cheers :cheers :cheers

Kim

[jo b]

Kim

thanks for your kind words of support.

I hope we are invited to the leaving do. Gosh I'll even go to the opening of an envelope :mrgreen:

Cheers

Jo

[Babette & Andy]

Joanne & family,

Glad to see I wasn't the only one filling up whilst reading your post!! Saying goodbye is so hard, prefer to use the french Au Revoir (or as Vera Lynn sang many moons ago 'We'll meet again . . .') :P

We all know we're doing it for the right reasons, but our emotions make us the people we are. Have a good cry, because you care about your loved ones, January will come o so fast (thinking here of you too Linda!)

Hope the journey goes/had gone ok. Look forward to reading your progress reports.

Well done on living your dreams :nice1

Babette

[A & M]

Know what you mean about the goodbyes. We have said our farewells to parents and sisters which was hard, but my 8 year old is really suffering this week - we have had the last brownies, the last violin lesson, and today is the last day at school. Every evening she has been in tears, and we are nearly as bad - so tired doing all the last minute packing etc.

Just off for the last lunch with the girls, so that's going to be a bit weepy for me.

We leave on Monday, and arrive 12 days later as we are stopping off en route. Will keep up to date on our travels.

Best wishes to all those going through the goodbye traumas.

Mandy

[Diny]

My mum is 75 and dad is 80 ........ leaving them is a living hell.

Luckily they are both very fit, but nobody would be totally amazed if either of them popped their cloggs ......... they are in their 'twilight' years which makes leaving just that little bit harder.

They have got their first visit planned and although their hearts are breaking, they are happy for us and can understand our decision.

I have been very very close to my folks since day 1. Most of the time I feel honoured and lucky to have such a wonderful relationship with them, however, at times like these I can't help thinking how much easier it would be if we hated the sight of each other. I know that's abit of a crass thing to say but I'm sure you all know where I'm coming from and how it was meant.

Mum put alot of things into perspective when she stated that having me living 10 mins down the road isn't some kind of safeguard against anything bad happening. If something is going to happen to any of us, it's going to happen whether you're 1 mile apart of 12 thousand !!!

To put into words one of my biggest fears ..... and I can't say this to my family 'cos I feel it's just too sad ...... I just worry about getting a call saying get back a.s.a.p and then not making it in time to say goodbye. A morbid thought - but a realistic one.

That's enough sadness for today. Don't know about you lot but reading the posts on this forum and knowing I'm not the only one who has these fears helps more than anything.

Lunch time ...... I'm outa here.

Diny

[Dave & Sandra]

Kim - your situation is so close to mine. My Dad is 78 now - Mum died in 1994 and I was much closer to her. He lives in Winsford where Babette and Andy are from. My younger sister lives in Salisbury and won't have anything to do with him and my brother lives in Germany, so I felt really lousy leaving him to his own devices, although he said he was happy for us and will visit when he can. I was still choked up when he dropped me at Manchester airport.

The killer for me was that I got an e-mail from my sister the week after I arrived telling me that she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. :no She's giving me regular up-dates and we are not a particularly close family, but it brings it home to you when you are so much further away. Not that I could do anything if I were still in the UK anyway, except give her more emotional support and maybe pop down for a visit.

Joanne - you certainly set off an emotional rollercoaster here. But everybody has to live their own lives the way they see fit.

Sandra

[jesselyn]

hi joanne,

hope you had a safe flight - enjoy NZ! :nice1

hugs,
jes :angel

ps. hugs to everyone, too!

[lindajax]

Me Again all,

I have read all the above posts with tears and other emotions for all of us. - it is so hard and the fear of not getting back in time Diny is a big one.

Joanne, hang in there its early days and January is but a spit away.

Kim and others with older parents they obviously respect your decisions and reasons for going and that should be of great comfort to you - My parents are only just asking us where we are going!!! thats been very hard to deal with - no support ( they didn't see us for nearly 4 months recently and they live 12 miles away - had a strop on with us over something and nothing).
Support is forthcoming now but we go in 7 weeks and we feel very let down.

Alis folks are 100% with us so thats helped immensely.

Even after all that is said saying goodbye to my family will be very hard as I know deep down that they probably won't visit us and it will be the last time I see them Hence the big do to make sure I manage to see everyone for one last time!

Sounds sad but it is MY sacrifice for my child and our sanity - I am more than happy to make it so please don't let it make you feel down.
I do however wish I had that deeper connection to family that Ali has and most forum members but hey "life is like a box of chocolates" as the saying goes.

As the time approaches to leave all of us will need the help and support of our forum friends they truly are the only ones who understand.
I have felt very nurtured on the forum and during this difficult emotional time - sometimes its been a lifeline.

To all of you make use of the time left - say the things you always wanted to to loved ones - I know I will. Try to spend some extra time with them or phone more etc. It could help ease that deep sickly pang in the lower tummy that we all have.


Philosophical head off now!

See you all later or in NZ!!!
Love
Linda
xxxx

[Pamela]

Hello All,

I don't post much, just read and try and learn from everyone I get :oops: and worried I might ask stupid things,so I find reading these great post, positive and negative has really helped me,

But after reading this one I am sobbing buckets, :wah :wah It has really hit home OMG,

Me 45 Hubby 41 Son 15 ready to take everything to NZ House, but holding back because, Leaving behind 2 Daughters 1 Grandaughter and 1 Granchild due April.

We Have their blessing because they understand why we want to do this, I know it is not going to be easy and I am having lots of sleepless nights,

Really I suppose I am looking for support from you forum members out there, instead of upsetting My girls whom I am close too, but they do have settled realationships and I know that their partners will look after them, But god how do you get passed the goodbyes. dreading it.

It was bad enough when I left my Brother in N Z last year I cried all the way over Australia and I felt drained for days after.

I try and convince myself that E Mails phone calls and web cams will be enough :yes :yes :yes

I Just think that I am having a wobbly moment and would share it with you all, at least I have stopped :wah :wah
Just posting and putting this down has helped. sorry for waffling

Keep up the good work all you people out there :nice1 :nice1 :nice1
Pamela xxxx

[Tara Sage]

Hello all

Reading all your posts wow I can really be an emotional cow sometimes :wah :wah

I am not that close to my parents so haven't experienced the level of emotion with them that you are all describing.

However my best friend is going through such a hard time in UK, I wish I could help her and well it is difficult from here. Her Dad had a heart attack and if now due for a big op and she is getting married on Xmas Eve and Hey ho I won't be there :no :wah Hubby has offered to pay for ticket for me to go back, but despite how sad I feel at times I don't want to. I want to spend my first Christmas in NZ with him and our son not back in England getting cold and wet :laugh

Sorry for dumping this lot on yeah just wanted to tell someone.

I love NZ and have no intention of going back, but sometimes I get a bit low thats where you all come in the support and knowing that others have the same thought and feelings that you do helps :cheers to you all

[Diny]

It's amazing how each of us have our own story to tell on this subject. All stories are different however they all have an identical thread running through them..

Posting your thoughts is a really good way of getting things straight in your head.

Homesickness is a dreadful feeling - a real physical pain at times. I too am holding out all my hopes on cheap phone calls, e-mail and webcams and occasional visits.

It's an unknown quantity .... those who are dreading it may well find that once they get to NZ and fall into the swing of things, homesickness won't be as bad as they imagine. Others who say that it is not a concern for them could find themselves hurting real bad and longing for home and family ..... we just don't know.

The best medicine is to talk about it... and where better than here.

Diny