[wayne]

Well we are one year in now and I probably feel more like going back now than at any other point, in fact the tickets to go back to the uk in march are in the drawer.
I dont dislike NZ but feel a strange need to get to the UK living here feels like a working holiday and no more than that.
OK we live mortgage free earn more than we spend and are surrounded by beautiful beaches , but it feels empty ,temporary,
I find I get by all the loud exhausts and shreiking tyres every evening , and the fact that I cannot walk down any road in Orewa/Red Beach without finding an empty "woodstock " can ( a cheap disgusting cola/bourbon drink that the underage drinkers favour)
Employers are a strange bunch too I had a job interview the other week which I was told there and then the job was mine , and we agreed that I would call the next day after giving in my notice at my present job to arr ange a start date ,good.
the next day I got a phone call saying "you havent given your notice in yet have you?" upon asking him why he said that he has decided to sell the business and didnt need me!!!!!!!
Luckily I hadnt given in my notice as the boss wasnt at work that day ,but if he had been I could have been well in the poo!
OUr 23yr old son has decided to go back to the UK and is currently saving up his money .
I know that upon return to the UK we will be much worse off probably have to get a mortgage of up to £50,000 and start all again , but that doesnt put me off at least we will earn good money again .
Sorry to be so negative ,but I have never experienced depression before in my life but these recent months I have felt lower than ever before .
Still summer is around the corner .
Wayne

[Diny]

but it feels empty ,temporary,
I
Wayne


Wayne - good to hear from you. I found your post very interesting and I could relate to so much of it. I can particularly relate to the above comment. Although I'm very fond of NZ and finding life here 'easier' than I did when we first arrived I too find (as a country) NZ leaves me empty and I don't ever see this being a permanent arrangement. It's good for the here and now but I know exactly where you're coming from.

On a lighter note - how you finding the Harley on the NZ roads?

Good to hear from you - and chin up mate - whatever you decide to do needs to be right for you and your family - wherever you are.

Diny

[NannyOgg]

Hi Wayne

I don't know you obviously but I suspect the emptyness comes from your life not being filled with all the things, people, activities, way of life and just the life you had created for yourselves over the last 25 years. Although I am not even in NZ yet I can understand how you must be feeling.

Material things don't make happiness. People do x

take care.

Nanny x

[wayne]

Diny glad Im not the only one feeling that.
Funny I took the Harley out for a spin today after writing that post and wow!! did that lift my spirits I wound my way north of Orewa along the Hibiscus Coast Highway to the Puhoi inn passing some very spectacular scenery and pushing the bike harder and lower round some of the bends than I have ever ridden it before came back feeling great ,if only the rain would stop tonight then I will blatt it to work tomorrow ,
I'm still very excited about going back to the UK in march because after a 2 week stay I'm flying back to NZ accompanied by my parents who have never been to NZ before , they arestaying for a month.
I may end up back in the UK but for now NZ will do, maybe one day it will feel less temporary and I will not be so up and down about the place
Wayne

[gil]

Employers are a strange bunch too I had a job interview the other week which I was told there and then the job was mine , and we agreed that I would call the next day after giving in my notice at my present job to arr ange a start date ,good.
the next day I got a phone call saying "you havent given your notice in yet have you?" upon asking him why he said that he has decided to sell the business and didnt need me!!!!!!!
Luckily I hadnt given in my notice as the boss wasnt at work that day ,but if he had been I could have been well in the poo!


Hi Wayne,
Really sorry to hear that you are feeling bad, your post is very descriptive and I felt very heavy-hearted after reading it. You did have a couple of glimpses of better days there (Harley, visit to UK and showing parents NZ) so I hope you find the level between feeling very miserable and the euphoria of the first few months.

Re the employer thing, I worked with someone who did almost exactly the same thing here in the UK. Poeple are people wherever you go....(sorry that should be in Pop Trivia in The Lounge!)

As you say, summer's nearly here so chin up and make the most of the time left in NZ,

Gil
x

[Moorf]

You're right, sometimes I hanker after the company of those who just "know" me, if that makes sense, and for that familiarity that only comes from family. :)

After all that you've been through in your one year here... do you regret making the initial move?

Moorf

[Cardiff Irons]

Hi Wayne

Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down, but do be aware that it might only be a temporary feeling. I was digging through some of your old posts and found this one:

http://www.emigratenz.org/forum/showthread.php?t=5178 (http://showthread.php?t=5178)

Might be worth a read so you know how quickly feelings can change.

Sounds like you're already feeling better, so long may it continue (whatever you decide for your future). :nice1

All the best


Steve :cheers

[Cardiff Irons]

Hmmm, that link I put up doesn't seem to work. But the title of your thread was "5 months in and still loving it", which is a bit of a clue to how you were feeling then.;)

[Smiler]

You're right, sometimes I hanker after the company of those who just "know" me, if that makes sense, and for that familiarity that only comes from family. :)



It makes sense to me and I'm hankering too.

Good luck Wayne, whatever you decide to do. :nice1

[jubjub]

It makes sense to me and I'm hankering too.

Good luck Wayne, whatever you decide to do. :nice1

I'm with that one too, I can be a bit odd/quiet some days, and people who dont know me really well think I am probably being off with them, and I am not..... (honest!)

Get your visit to the UK Wayne, it will make things clearer for you one way or the other. But it sounds like you have cheered up a bit with your bike ride, these roads just seem made for bikes.... mind you think if I tried to ride one now I would fall off (its been a while!)

[denisesykes]

Hi there Wayne, just logged on after months of inactvity and was saddened to read your post. I hope that the feeling passes and that you manage to settle down here.Maybe a trip back to the UK is just what you need , to remind you of why you came to NZ in the first place! How is Trudy , does she feel the same?
I do understand though what you are saying , some of it may be down to that February feeling which I have been suffering from for the past few weeks (Yes, I know it is August but you know what I am getting at!)
Whilst Paul & I are very settled at work and the kids are very involved in school etc, there does seem something missing and even though I do not conciously miss family and friends I am very easily moved to tears here whereas I cannot remember the last time I cried in the UK! Something going on subconciously I think!
Just try to remember how keen we all were prior to coming and try to tap into that ethusiasim.
Hopefully it will stop raining soon and the sunshine will have a positive effect!
Regards to Trudy

Best Wishes

Denise

[Diny]

.Maybe a trip back to the UK is just what you need , to remind you of why you came to NZ in the first place!
Denise


This is good advice !! However my trip back to the UK earlier this year did nothing to make me feel more settled here, it simply confirmed the fact that I've made a sideways step.

Diny

[pieeater]

Hi Wayne,I know where your'e coming from mate,We've done five years here now and have had many ups and downs.We should hook up and go for a spin and a bitch.I ride a Beemer and live jusy south of Whangarei so mail me if you're interested.Had Sparkymark(another forumite who has had his share of problems)over on Saturday and we had a great time.

[wayne]

Thanks all
I do feel much better knowing that it must be a phase we go through I.m here for the long haul I do love NZ but at times I feel out of place ,I heard a Neil Diamond song on the radio ay work today and it summed it up "LA's fine but it aint home ,New York's home but it aint mine no more"
That expressed the feelings I have been having NZ is great but its coming to terms with the sideways step as Diny mentioned , but when I go back in march I will probably find that I 'm out of place back there
Pieeater that is a good Idea I have some free weekends coming up soon so I will be in touch , got me licence now so I'm legal too.
Looking foreward to the Fathers day drags at Meremere on the 3rd sept
Its funny what triggers the down feelings now I cannot see what all the fuss is about
Thanks all
Wayne

[jonesey]

Hi Wayne

Not posted much on this forum, but guilty of just reading and not enough posting but I do try.....Let me introduce myself I am currently going through middle age crisis "I THINK”, Married for over 20 years and 6 kids, leaving 3 behind of them behind who are big enough, and who think their wise enough to lead their lives without there parents. So be it!! They are staying in good old blighty and in the very good pleasure of HMF Army. We reached out to NZ way back in 2003 and followed the dream and returned to UK back in late 2004. I was lucky enough to have spent 2 years this month searching for a way forward in the UK, took a good snapshot of my life as to where it was back in 2003......believe you me we have took many footsteps backwards not forward since arriving back in blighty. Unable to gain a foothold on the mortgage ladder due to exuberated house prices and not being able to settle back in UK, having spend so much time and effort making it happen 1st time around.

It cost us a small fortune to migrate the first time around and when you have to return you spend another small fortune getting back to some normality and Settling back. Take a look at your post and see your comments and compare them then to now, http://www.emigratenz.org/forum/showthread.php?p=53234#post53234

Luckily we are moving back in October 06 to Auckland to hopefully commit to 2nd time around for us and I am joining the RNZAF hopefully to settle back into uniform way of life. For me having spend 18 years in UK HMF RAF, this is the opportunity that doesn't come around often in life and I am about to seize it with both hands, hopefully there are anther 80 that will follow and make the journey also into the RNZAF. I did the CBD and worked in IT and rented in Devonport way back in 2003, I agree with DINY this is also a sideways shift for us as a family and leaving 3 of your children behind to start their own lives is going to be hard for us. You yourself have already gone through peak and troughs throughout your time already in NZ, but you have to keep reminding yourself you’re only a plane journey away in your life to see how much UK has changed or NOT !! see how many footsteps you have taken forward or back and compare the two differing lifestyles in UK/NZ. Since we returned, UK is changing by the year with EU migration plans, believe you me riding your "Harley" is the answer to your mind set for that particular day in NZ, I know those biker days also, but alas I was a Goldwing rider myself and sadly the children saw an end to the good old biker days for me, but who knows I might even re-invent myself when I get back to Auckland and maybe look at getting a two wheel friend again for those days I need to take chill out time, beats the golf course any day !! Phew longest post EVER……

:nice1

[Avalon]

Phew longest post EVER……


But a good one!

[StevieD]

At least with a Harley you wouldn't be as affected by the fifteen mile traffic jam on the M6 just now!!!

[David with a dream]

Cracking post Jonesey, we to are planning a return to NZ as soon as we sell our house. Coming back to the UK for us has been a time of reflection and no matter how hard you try you can never quite recapture your old life. We feel so positive this time around and will look back at the UK with great fondness but embrace the new way of life in NZ and move forward with it. David

[wayne]

Brilliant !! thanks you guys mood much better now ,you hit it on the head I cannot recapture my old life I think thats whats been niggling me coming to terms that this IS my new life and its time to get on with it .
I'm going to start my own business in the new year once my UK visit is over , I'm going to open up a photographic business and model agency ( I'm a qualifed glamour/portrait photographer) offering makeovers ,portraits stuff like that ,I have made a start and organised a shoot for next week with a new model.
Thanks again you guys this forum is great !!!!
Denise . Trudy is fine but we are having sad days as her stepdad is dying of cancer of the spine , and understandably her mum isnt coping to well ,luckily they only live five minutes walk away now
PS if any of you want to surprise the old man with a calendar with you as the star this christmas give us a shout
Wayne

[veronica]

much as its easy to view new zealand with rose tinted glasses when in the UK the reverse is true too. there must have been some reasons why you wanted to leave the UK. Perhaps it would help to write them down.

[Avalon]

PS if any of you want to surprise the old man with a calendar with you as the star this christmas give us a shout
Wayne
{cringe} Theres now a "not so pretty sight" flashing before my eyes :D

[Smiler]

{cringe} Theres now a "not so pretty sight" flashing before my eyes :D

He'd be so surprised he'd have a coronary, mine I mean, not yours.......I'll stop now. :laugh

[wayne]

HA HA HA!!!
Oh Veronica there were no reasons that I left the Uk I had a brilliant life and job etc I came to NZ as I had made a promise to Trudy (wife) that when the kids were all finished education I would take her home to NZ so she could be near her family , I had no burning desire but I had given her my work and intended to keep it as simple as that really probably why I wobble abit now and again
Wayne

[Al_S]

I had given her my work and intended to keep it
You are a smart man to have gotten away with it , I tried giving my "work" to my wife and I have marks on my face to prove it did not fly :laugh :laugh
(you know I am just kidding ..a little play on that typo there). In all seriousness, it is great you kept your promise to your spouse. So now there are atleast two good men out there :D