[PaulJ]

I had planned to hand my notice in at work Yesterday, got to the point of printing letter out, signing letter, and walking up to my boss for a chat. Just could not go through with it, feel really terrible at the moment. My visa runs out 24th November, and am aware of all the things that need sorting out, and how quickly time is passing.

It's not that I like the job, or feel I have any future here. I have had a rough ride over the past few months and it has really knocked me for six. I don't have the confidence I had for the move to New Zealand, but still have all the worries about staying in UK. My life has just been on hold for past couple of years waiting for the New Zealand move.

Just feel totally lost at the moment, totally numb, trying to grasp on to the reasons for moving, but feel everything is just slipping away from me. The New Zealand house prices are escalating higher than UK now. New Zealand Immigration said cost of living was comparible to UK, but I will be earning less than half what I do in UK and every seems to cost about the same as UK or a little more. Houses are more affordable, but rental costs are about same as UK or a little less.

I know everyone says you should not convert cost off things in UK and New Zealand. I don't feel I am doing that. I just don't see how New Zealand Immigration could state the cost of living is comparible when everything costs about the same but with earning a fraction of the salary in UK.

One of my reasons for leaving UK was to escape the madness of the property market. I wanted a country with a lower cost of housing in a market without the big annual increases. I don't want to invest or make money from property, just want somewhere of my own to live.

I don't have a house in UK to sell, so don't have the benefit of spare equity in my home. I have deep concerns about knock on effects over the coming years of overstretched affordability if prices hold or rise; or from an adjustment. When I first looked at New Zealand in late 2002, everything looked ok; but the property market in New zealand has gone same way, and I have deeper concerns about this in New Zealand as things are comparitively less affordable with lower salaries and higher interest rates.

Just needed to vent some off my feelings, feeling very low, and not sure what to do now. Just can not face moving to New Zealand, and can not face staying in UK. Everyone I speak do, says just do it, you can allways come back if it does not work out. Usually that settles me to continue, but just does not seem to be working this time.

As I mentioned I have had a rough ride with a very nasty family situation recently. Not helped with my car being broken into twice in the past few weeks, be glad when the kids return to school.

Regards,
Paul.

[Avalon]

Paul

Sending you big {{{hugs{}}}

Its not always as easy as "Just do it". For a lot of people - if not most people - that certainly applies - but we do need to remember that we are all different - adn whats best for me is not automatically what is best for you.

It was the end of 2002 that we first looked at this - and yeah - it was real cheap. But you are right - it isnt so much these days. I was blown away by the cost of living when we first arrived - and I was angry that NZIS were still maintaining that it was cheap to live here. AT least they seem to have changed the tune on that.

I have a thought - is there anyway you can take a 3-6 month break from work as a leave of absence or something. And maybe come over as a long holiday. You can actuivate the visa (it doesnt mean you have to stay permanantly) and have an in depth look around and see if you feel more comfortable. Its not possible with all jobs - but it may be worth asking. That way - you know your job is open, and if being out here lifts your soul (or not) then at least you have some firmer answers.

Not only that - it may help you deal with thsi family situation and put life back into perspective for you.

Feeling numb is not unusual. But please be assured that if you need to you can sort out moving to NZ quite quickly. Others have done it - and im sure there are people on here who could help through that if you did decide to come.

Take a deep breath - theres no rule anywhere that says you HAVE to emigrate now if you are not ready. And remember that you can activate your visa and return to uk for a while if you feel you need more time, but dont want to close the door just yet.

I hope that helps

[Trigirl]

Someone much wiser than me said a while ago (on these boards) that the way to approach these things was to think how you would feel if the opportunity was taken away from you.

So imagine this. In 10 mins the phone rings. You answer it. It’s your NZIS case officer ringing to tell you that there’s been a problem. Your visa was issued in error. He’s very sorry but you aren’t entitled to move to NZ after all.

How do you feel? Relieved that you can get on with your life in the UK and stop thinking about NZ? Or gutted?

No one knows what life on the other side of the world is going to be like for them until they try. People can tell you their experience but it may or may not match your own. You have this big opportunity – and if you take it you run big risks. It could all go wrong and the process of moving to NZ and back is not a cheap one. But there are big risks in not going too. You could spend the rest of your life wondering what if.

The research I’ve done on moving matches pretty much what the immigration people are telling you – that costs of living is comparable. For us actually a bit cheaper due to the very high commuting costs we have here. But again every person is different on this – someone on their own has very different costs to a big family. Living in the middle of nowhere has very different costs to a city – and Auckland is very different again. You need to do your own research and be prepared. We’ve done a very detailed cost of living calculation to work out how much of our weekly take home pay we might be able to save. Also we’ve looked at how much everything we need to do between now and getting to NZ costs to see how much savings we’ll have left by the time we get there.

I hope you manage to see your way clear and find a decision you are happy with.

Mandy

[Nienke]

I've nothing to add to the wise words said above, just wanted to send you a cyber hug {{{{}}}}} and hope things will be more clear for you soon.

[katandbob]

I had planned to hand my notice in at work Yesterday, got to the point of printing letter out, signing letter, and walking up to my boss for a chat. Just could not go through with it, feel really terrible at the moment. My visa runs out 24th November, and am aware of all the things that need sorting out, and how quickly time is passing.

It's not that I like the job, or feel I have any future here. I have had a rough ride over the past few months and it has really knocked me for six. I don't have the confidence I had for the move to New Zealand, but still have all the worries about staying in UK. My life has just been on hold for past couple of years waiting for the New Zealand move.

Just feel totally lost at the moment, totally numb, trying to grasp on to the reasons for moving, but feel everything is just slipping away from me. The New Zealand house prices are escalating higher than UK now. New Zealand Immigration said cost of living was comparible to UK, but I will be earning less than half what I do in UK and every seems to cost about the same as UK or a little more. Houses are more affordable, but rental costs are about same as UK or a little less.

I know everyone says you should not convert cost off things in UK and New Zealand. I don't feel I am doing that. I just don't see how New Zealand Immigration could state the cost of living is comparible when everything costs about the same but with earning a fraction of the salary in UK.

One of my reasons for leaving UK was to escape the madness of the property market. I wanted a country with a lower cost of housing in a market without the big annual increases. I don't want to invest or make money from property, just want somewhere of my own to live.

I don't have a house in UK to sell, so don't have the benefit of spare equity in my home. I have deep concerns about knock on effects over the coming years of overstretched affordability if prices hold or rise; or from an adjustment. When I first looked at New Zealand in late 2002, everything looked ok; but the property market in New zealand has gone same way, and I have deeper concerns about this in New Zealand as things are comparitively less affordable with lower salaries and higher interest rates.

Just needed to vent some off my feelings, feeling very low, and not sure what to do now. Just can not face moving to New Zealand, and can not face staying in UK. Everyone I speak do, says just do it, you can allways come back if it does not work out. Usually that settles me to continue, but just does not seem to be working this time.

As I mentioned I have had a rough ride with a very nasty family situation recently. Not helped with my car being broken into twice in the past few weeks, be glad when the kids return to school.

Regards,
Paul.

Paul did you see the post about the government helping first time buyers to get on the housing market? So if you have PR then you will be entitled to apply, so there is help for those who didnt have a house to sell.

If I worked our joint wages out into UK rates we'd be on £340 a week, but although some things are expensive we have adapted and hopefully we will be able to save/enjoy life here....I'll let you know in 6mths to a year.

It is a hard desision, but you could always go back to the UK after you have tried it here.

Hope you feel better soon and that your future looks brighter

good luck

Kat

[willsken]

The only thing I wanted to add is the amount of people I have spoken to (since we decided to leave the UK) who had the chance once, didn't take it and deeply regret it. It is a great feeling knowing we can go and live in NZ, so many people can't or really struggle to get there. If you feel really unsure but don't want to rule it out, then if at all possible I would scrape the money together and buy a return ticket to activate you visa. At least you buy yourself some more thinking time.

Good luck with what ever you decide. :)

[Diny]

Not much more to add - seems like you've already been given some good advice. I can honestly say that if you decided to 'cancel' your plans you'll regret it the moment you reach the point of no return.

We came here with the attitude of 'Auckland has a departure lounge too' .... for me NZ isn't the be all and end all, but I can say with great certainty that I will never regret coming here - whatever happens.

Diny

[veronica]

I think the key thing is that if you don't do it then you could spend the rest of your life wondering if it would have been better if you had come over here.

while property here has esculated in price it stillseems more possible to get onto the property ladder than the UK. In the southeast our daughter who is still there has no hope of even getting a wreck of a property and improving it. that is possible for her here.

[StevieD]

To wonder what may have been is cruel indeed... better to try and fail than not try at all.
If you have nothing to lose in the UK, then why not??

You can get a lot of house in NZ for a lot less than here, don't forget that. Even though property prices have risen dramatically, there are still a lot of homes out there for reasonable money, especially if you can manage to live in the sticks.

Don't be too down, we all go through it. As trigirl said above, imagine if you weren't given the opportunity, how would you feel about it? Good advice.

Steve

[spudulike]

[QUOTE=willsken]The only thing I wanted to add is the amount of people I have spoken to (since we decided to leave the UK) who had the chance once, didn't take it and deeply regret it. It is a great feeling knowing we can go and live in NZ, so many people can't or really struggle to get there. If you feel really unsure but don't want to rule it out, then if at all possible I would scrape the money together and buy a return ticket to activate you visa. At least you buy yourself some more thinking time.

Excellent advice!! ;)

I really feel for you but agree that if you cancel your plans now you are likely to regret it one day, even if that day is 20 years from now.

When we were moving here we also were working on the prices of 2002/2003 and my goodness we have had a shock since arriving. We have two young children and although my husband has a good job it is still a struggle as everything is so expensive. We have decided that long term it is not financially viable to stay here and to be honest I also dread going home and perhaps finding we will struggle there too after a gap of a couple of years. :confused:

However, and most importantly - I will never regret having come here and tried but I would have had lifelong regrets to have stayed just to feel safe or comfortable. It's a huge risk but definitely one worth taking, particularly as you may be suprised and find you actually have more opportunities here than in the UK?? You won't know unless you take the great leap of faith.....

Good luck with a difficult decision.

Louise

[jo-and-jeff]

Paul,

I apologize for mentioning things that you've already considered, but I hope that it may help you clarify some things.

You mentioned that you don't have equity in a home, but you don't say whether you have a substantial savings account. As is mentioned in another current thread (http://www.emigratenz.org/forum/showthread.php?t=7632), moving to NZ can be very expensive: Immigration Fees
Medical Fees
Airline tickets
Shipping Costs for your possessions

Once you get get here, you will find: 39% tax taken off your salary on each paycheck
high mortgage interest rates
possibly high home costs
high auto loan rates
cost of living about the same as UK at a significantly lower salary
large bonds/deposits required to rent and set up utilities, plus non-refundable "installation" or start-up fees
medical and prescription costs not always covered by the National Health program

I'm not meaning to be discouraging; I just want to make sure that if you come to New Zealand, it's with your eyes wide open and with realistic expectations. If you don't come here with a substantial amount of money, it may be very difficult for you to "get on your feet" here, and to be able to afford purchasing a home.

On the other hand, if you've got a fair bit of a nest egg, you may be able to do just fine.

After researching costs to determine whether a move to NZ was feasible, it was our opinion that the cost of living presented by NZ Immigration is grossly underestimated. I have a feeling that a lot of the Migrants who turn around and leave New Zealand do so because they find that they're just scraping by on a daily basis with no chance of ever "getting ahead".

If you haven't already, I encourage you to fill out a Budget Planner form (http://www.nationalbank.co.nz/personal/calculators/budget.asp) to get a better idea of what your day-to-day financial situation will be. In addition, you'll want to subtract your estimated "start-up" costs (bonds/deposits, installation fees, auto purchase, etc) from the money you have in savings to see what you'll have left, and remember that there will be a lot of little unexpected expenses that will chip away at that amount.

This was a real eye-opener for us, but it didn't dissuade us from making the move (although we set a "Go/No Go" threshold for our savings based on our very conservative estimates for moving and start-up costs, which would still leave us a substantial chunk of money in the bank).

Hope this helps -- Good Luck!

Jo

[felix]

Dear Paul, been here 17 months..from ex police officer to house dad...one extremely hard change to deal with..plus all the other stuff that comes with moving at nigh on 50, with 3 kids under 5, to the other side of the world..knowing not a soul and having to totally rebuild EVERY part of your life..pretty much like a lot of people have to do when they come out here.

We gave up a very comfortable existence, financially anyways, to come over here..we were in a reasonable comfort zone..just lived in a bit of a crappy neighbourhood and didn't like the way things were going generally in the UK.

Point is that doing this was one of the hardest things we have ever done..this last 17 months for me, battling to be a decent home keeper has been SO HARD!!!! But, I have never, ever contemplated going back to the UK..inspite of all the difficulties..I know one family that came, didn't like it and returned for many reasons, they do not appear to be bitter, they gave it a try and it wasn't for them, NZ is not everybodys idea of nirvana. Having said that our lives are as close to perfect as they ever could be. Over here we do feel much better off than we did in the UK..(we did not expect that), we work 50% less of the hours we did in the Uk and we live in a neighbourhood and a region that we could only dream about in the UK..we love Palmerston North..despite what others say about it. Paul i really do hope you make the jump...please PM me if you like..you could call me and we could chat about it..it may help to talk to someone who has done it!!!

Kind regards, Dom.

[felix]

Not true that the tax rate is 39% (okay it is until you get a tax code) but kate only pays about 22% tax on most of her wages..I do not know where the threshold changes from 22-39% but it is around the 40k mark i am sure..the cost of living in Palmerston North is cheaper than in the UK..except for a few grocery items and power bills..all our insurances are about a 3rd of the UK cost,,our house was a 3rd of the price, petrol is only 57p a litre, decent meat is way, way cheaper..car tax is cheaper, no TV licence, we earn far less than in the Uk but we have a better general standard of living. Getting over here is not that pricey either,,there were 5 of us and all in it was about £12000..almost £7000 was for 40 ft box, £2000 was flights..so for a family of 3 (if I am right) it should be a lot cheaper.

For our family in quite a big house our monthly bills averaged out over the year are about $850 a month..this excludes petrol, clothes and food, but includes all other car costs (save for car loans), all house insurances, all rates and water, school and kindergarten costs and all utilities. You need to add to that your rental/mortgage bill and the other things not inc. to get an idea of where you are. Kind regards, Dom.

[Paul]

Not true that the tax rate is 39% (okay it is until you get a tax code) but kate only pays about 22% tax on most of her wages..I do not know where the threshold changes from 22-39% but it is around the 40k mark i am sure

This link may help with what tax rates you payInland Revenue tax rates (http://www.ird.govt.nz/income-tax-individual/itaxsalaryandwage-incometaxrates.html)

Seems to be fairly similar overall deductions %age-wise to UK once you take into account the UK personal allowance and National Insurance

Regards
Paul

[DebbieC]

Paul

Think about what everyone else has said and think about you, what you really want to do and just do it.

I am really looking forward to going to NZ in December this year and although the costs are pretty comparable we have bought a house in Blenheim and it has three bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, is on a quarter of an acre and it was cheaper than our 2 bedroomed cottage, 1 bathroom, tiny garden here in the UK. So unless you need to live in Wellington/Auckland/Christchurch etc then it is possible to buy cheaper properties and I know Blenheim isn't the cheapest area either. But if you don't try you may well live to regret it.

My Grandad was given the chance to go to NZ many years ago and turned it down, he said he wished he had gone. My father also got the chance to go to Canada but because the children were of a certain age! he turned it down and regrets that too.

As others have said why don't you buy a return ticket for 6 months and go on a vistors visa but activate your visa whilst you are there and then you don't lose it altogether. You can look around and see where you would like to live and look at prices of properties both renting and purchasing.

Hope you make the right decision.

[PaulJ]

Hi

Thanks for all the kind words and advice it has really touched me and lifted my spirit. Not sure where to start with my reply, I have approached work about taking two months off unpaid to see if that is a possibility. Will not know until my team leader returns from holiday. Ironically during the conversation my Boss said he feared that I might decide to give everything up in the UK and move to a foreign country if I did not get myself straightened out. The family problem I mentioned has been affecting me deeply, and they have been very concerned at work for my health and well being. The family situation has improved greatly over the past month, and I now have some space from this for the move, it has been a tough emotional time.

Financially I am ok and do have a nest egg to give me a good start with housing. I am still just about ok to buy a house in UK, so not priced out of the UK market just yet. My fears in the housing market are a fear off a correction, and a fear off the knock on
effects the stretched affordability has to general population. I don't know which direction future house prices will go, just feel that high annual rises and stretched affordability makes the market less stable and I don't feel comfortable with that.
Particularly in New Zealand with higher interest rates, lower population, and lower take home pay.

With salary, I think I should be able to get by with a little left over for unexpected expenses. Just compared to UK I will lose the majority of my disposable income, which provides some security, freedom to indulge in things like trips abroad from time to time, and flexibility to cut my working week to three days and still earn enough money to live on. I fear I will be losing that in New Zealand, with all the fears of finding a new job. Had trouble finding my current job and some agencies told me I was simply too old for IT over 35, but wanted someone with all the experience I had.

My fears about the move are all coming to the surface at this critical turning point, just feeling so tired and exhausted emotionally with everything that has happened recently. I know if I don't make the move I will deeply regret throwing this opportunity away, I have worked so hard to get to this point, and it has meant so much too me personally. I know all that, and have been through it in my head time and time again, just can't get past where I am at the moment; stuck in no-mans land as my brother has put it.

Regards,
Paul.

[GeordieLass]

Had trouble finding my current job and some agencies told me I was simply too old for IT over 35, but wanted someone with all the experience I had.

They won't legally be able to do this anymore as there are new rules about age discrimination.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I hope it all works out.