[nippa&pippa]

Is anyone had young child are affect by thought of moving? We had a problem with our son who is three as he starting to poo in his pant and increasing accident wet his pant, someone suggest that he may picked up our stress of moving in last few weeks as we had up and down with visa/PR etc. We have sat down and talking about moving with our son and explain what to expect but we not sure whether he taken all in even he is 'exciting' about moving to New Zealand but i don't feel he got grasp of not see his friends again and rarely see his grandparents. i wondering what other parents had deal with their young children?
Sophia x

[pieeater]

Our son,10 yrs. old back then, started sleepwalking once we had arived here,and one time he was doing it he thought he was a dog? it was really funny that one.He's fine now and couldn't be happier.

[Diny]

My kids are abit older than yours. Our eldest (10) is soooooo laid back it's amazing (just like his dad) and basically he's gone with the flow right the way through the entire process. We've been here for 15 months now and he still has a (very laid back) foot in both the NZ and the UK camps.

Our youngest son (9) has taken everything on board alot more, he took a long time to settle, and still, after all this time, can cry himself to sleep wanting to go home.

Some will say that kids bounce back from whatever situation they find themselves in. This is right for my eldest son, certainly not for my youngest.

As a parent it's hearbreaking hearing your child cry for home and (on a daily basis) asking 'when are we going back home to live'.

Diny

[Nienke]

Oh Diny, that must be so hard and heartbreaking. Do you think he will be allright in time though?

My son (3,5 years) is doing fine. He does understand now that we are a long long way from Holland and his grandparents, but does not seem to mind really (yet).
I've got family visiting at the end of october, which is wonderful, but already I'm not looking forward to saying goodbye again. And I'm also wondering how my son will react to the goodbyes.

[Diny]

Oh Diny, that must be so hard and heartbreaking. Do you think he will be allright in time though?

.


I'm hoping he will. Some days he's as happy as Larry - and just when we think we've got it licked he goes down hill again.

I took a long time to even start to feel settled over here, I would have jumped on the first plane home in an instant. Things are good for me now, I'm just hoping he will follow this 'routine'.

Fingers crossed.

Diny

[Debbie]

If you read some of my older posts you will see that I went through almost the same think with my kids aged 4 & 2. I was realy woried that my 4 yr old didnt understand the reality of not seeing his friends again and missing hs grandparents. He started inviting his friends to NZ and saying to grandparents he didnt want to go. I felt that I was short changing both my kids because I was spending time organizing the move and not on them. Without wishing to sound any hit of critism on you, have you thought that your son may just be having more accidents because you are focusing on him and your move where before it was just him?.
We have only been in NZ 10 days and for the last 2 days my son (4 yrs) has said he likes it here and wants to stay and my daughter tells people that she is a kiwi.
Hope you get some help from this, I know I broke my heart with worry about how my kids would cope, so far it has been good with them.
Debbie

[Nienke]

Things are good for me now, I'm just hoping he will follow this 'routine'.

Fingers crossed.

Diny

I'll keep mine crossed as well.

[Helsandfamily]

Hi Sophia,

We moved within the UK when my son was almost 2- he was too little to understand what was happening, and It affected him greatly. As a stay at home mother, he didn't want to know me for 2 weeks. his Dad had to do everything for him. Which was quite hard at the time. His behaviour changed, and I believe that it was because he was unsettled.

We gave him lots of cuddles, and reassurance and let him choose new toys as a "bribe " for moving he was better after 2 weeks, and has been fine since, but I think they do pick up on your stress and in hindsight ( which is a wonderful thing) I think I would have taken him to the grandparents home to avoid the packing and all that stuff, as this would have kept some sort of normality for him.

Don't know if this is relevant to you, but hope it helps

Good Luck

hels

[nippa&pippa]

If you read some of my older posts you will see that I went through almost the same think with my kids aged 4 & 2. I was realy woried that my 4 yr old didnt understand the reality of not seeing his friends again and missing hs grandparents. He started inviting his friends to NZ and saying to grandparents he didnt want to go. I felt that I was short changing both my kids because I was spending time organizing the move and not on them. Without wishing to sound any hit of critism on you, have you thought that your son may just be having more accidents because you are focusing on him and your move where before it was just him?.
We have only been in NZ 10 days and for the last 2 days my son (4 yrs) has said he likes it here and wants to stay and my daughter tells people that she is a kiwi.
Hope you get some help from this, I know I broke my heart with worry about how my kids would cope, so far it has been good with them.
Debbie

Well he was potty trained at 2, but then this sister came in january, had bit of hiccup then sort out now it is came back, so i am juggling with move, three years old and 7 months. I spoken to my husband last night about this as i had it enough to deal with it, so now the situation with moving now have to wait till children's bedtime whereas i can concentrate on kids.
Mum and dad is planning to have both kids for few days while gary and i pack, my next project is to get my daughter able to take a bottle so my mum can feed her when she due for milk as had been ongoing problems with bottle. I had tip from her dietician this morning about get her taking bottle, so i will try this! (put milkshake powder in her hypoallergic formula milk :roll )
Sophia x

[Debbie]

Sophia,
You have my full understanding, it's so difficult to juggle the needs of children with the demands of making such a big move as this. Hope it all works out well for you. My son was a boob snacker wanting milk 13- 15 x a day and wouldn't take a bottle untill a little bit of strawberry flavour was added, even had to start off with adding it to my milk. We all get there in the end it's just a hard journey at times.
All the best. P.S my son from not wanting to stay in NZ is making friends and wants to go to school. A group called Mainly Music has been a real saviour for my kids. A social function for them to go to even though we are only here for 4 weeks, toys to play with as theirs are all in storage, and a real chance for me and them to get to know the local kids and parents. I dont have a web pg for them but I understand they are all over NZ I would recommend anyone with pre school kids spend the $2 per child and go along. Debbie

[jubjub]

I can recommend Mainly Music too, if you can get into a class, there are all over the place, ask the local Plunket office when you get here for a list of the nearest ones, or look in.

http://www.mainlymusic.org.nz/

I cant help with the other problems as i was preggy when we moved, so he did not know!

A trick someone told me with formula & bottles was to put a little golden syrup in it, or brown sugar (about a tsp), just to give it a different taste, and if it works, gradually reduce it. I just had to do the hard yards and fight it out with my boy one day, he loved breastmilk out of a bottle, but formula, no way jose!

If its the actual bottle thats the problem you could try a tommee tippee/Avent cup instead, quite a few of my coffee group pals have had to do that.

[nippa&pippa]

Thanks! Well cos i work 3 night a week from 7pm to 11pm, so i pick the night to try the bottle when i am at work, usually i get calls from my husband to tell me come home :mad: as she refused outright with bottles in the past (lucky my employer is very understanding as i had some problems with her since birth) and on the first night she tried bottle with extract of orange in it, i did not get ANY call from my husband.....so i had to wait till i get home to find out how it is goes! She love it! yippppeeeeee! that tick my one of boxes on my list..next? :uhoh
Sophia x

[GeordieLass]

Don't know if this helps much as I don't remember any trauma but as a kid I moved a LOT with my dad being in the forces. By the time I went to boarding school at age 9 I had lived in two different towns in Germany and three in the UK. While at school my parents moved twice within the UK and then to Cyprus. Didn't do me any harm!

[Bergita]

It's a bit of a wake-up call to read all these posts. I was thinking my daughter is young enough to not be affected much by the move. We're planning to go when she is about 4 and a 1/2.

I have been a bit worried about what she is going to do without her "nanny", who is actually our housekeeper that looked after her at home before she went to creche. We haven't told her yet and don't plan to until much closer to the time.

I have to tell you, it breaks my heart to think I might be about to put her through something stressful. I hope when the time comes to tell her, I'll come up with those magic mommy words that will make it all ok for her.

Diny, and nippa&pippa, my heart goes out to you.

[nippa&pippa]

It's a bit of a wake-up call to read all these posts. I was thinking my daughter is young enough to not be affected much by the move. We're planning to go when she is about 4 and a 1/2.

I have been a bit worried about what she is going to do without her "nanny", who is actually our housekeeper that looked after her at home before she went to creche. We haven't told her yet and don't plan to until much closer to the time.

I have to tell you, it breaks my heart to think I might be about to put her through something stressful. I hope when the time comes to tell her, I'll come up with those magic mommy words that will make it all ok for her.

Diny, and nippa&pippa, my heart goes out to you.

Someone mentioned to me that there is a book for kids who is emigrating, so i will try to find out about it so i can show my son who love book so much so he can understood more about the situation and let you know, but he is 'exciting' about moving as he had been telling everyone even strangers that we are moving to 'New ZeaLAnd'!! I think he will be in for a shock when he realise that his friends and cousins not there anymore...even we have explained to him, but he is only 3.
Sophia