[Natalieb]

Hi Everyone.

I hear New Zealand is just warming up and the days are getting longer, well its getting dark here by 4.30pm and its soooooooooo cold - I know where Id rather be.

Just been reading about what all you NZ residents miss most about the UK, just shows how much we take for granted in the UK!, Bisto and ready brek, cant your family send you things over? or is that mega expensive.

It preparation for our move, what do the kids miss? just trying to be prepared.

Natalie

[Tia Maria]

Nothing except for Granparents, Aunties, Uncles, Cousins etc.

They adopted the food the accent and the way of life pretty quick, but then again mine are quite young and have pretty short memories .... not sure if it would be the same for Teenagers.

Cheers

Tia

[pieeater]

Mine miss their Family more than anything.Grandparents uncles,aunties,cousins.Those family get togethers that you so easily take for granted seem to become far more sgnificant.

[Debbie]

seeing family.
The amount of excitment in our house when uncle appeared on the computer thanks to skype was amazing. My kids realy only miss seeing the faces of family. They speak to granny very regulaly still but we cant do that visual thing yet as our web cam is still in the container.
My son misses his preschool but that would have been the same in the UK, (as he was due to start primary). They have adapted very well to writing to friends. I'm glad my kids have had the experience of recieving and writing letters. It's a dying art.
Debbie

[Diny]

Mine are 9 and 10. Like all the other kids, they miss grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. They also miss their friends from home (they all started playgroup together at 2 !!). They miss their old school, the house we lived in, family parties and get togethers. Grans' Sunday roasts. In fact ... everything really.

They are settled and happy here but remember & miss just about everything from the UK. If we told them they were staying here forever they'd be fine. If we told them we were returning to UK they'd be fine.

This is very much a 50/50 household.

Diny

[katandbob]

no it definately different for teenagers! the younger they are the easier it is for them to integrate.
Mine miss - family friends and decent broadband connection - if they had the latter they may be less fed up about the other two as they'd be able to skype/msn their friends....he eldest is having the worst time and today his car radiator blew so hes now trapped in nowheresville!

to be honest me and Rob have had a hard time since they arrived in September....I cant remember the last time i wasnt depressed! :no

Kat

hopefully a weekend of BURT MUNROE Challenge will be a light relief and the kids will see what this country can offer them :uhoh

[wiki]

to be honest me and Rob have had a hard time since they arrived in September....I cant remember the last time i wasnt depressed! :no

Kat

hopefully a weekend of BURT MUNROE Challenge will be a light relief and the kids will see what this country can offer them :uhoh

I'm so sorry to read this. I know Greenhills (used to live out at West Plains on the other side of the city) It's a beautiful spot, but without transport it can be very isolated.
I loved living in Invercargill, but I admit it's not the most exciting place for teenagers...

But from some of the other posts and your blog I can see that you've been really happy down there, and I just hope the pressure from your kids doesn't put you off completely. Southland needs people like you.

And have fun at the Bert challenge! I have to confess I cried when I watched the film - the opening shot gave me such a burst of homesickness and then on Dvd I kept pausing Oreti beach and telling friends "that's my beach!"

I also pointed out Tim and said "that's my Mayor" - even if he is a wally :)

Keep your chin up

[willsken]

to be honest me and Rob have had a hard time since they arrived in September....I cant remember the last time i wasnt depressed! :no



Kat that's awful. Kid's can really make you feel it when things aren't going their way, can't they?

[smitjo]

Ahhh Kat I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm sure it will get better soon once they settle down and make new friends. Your place looks wonderful and it must be fantastic to have some land and horses - we are very envious. Keep your chin up!

[Hannah]

When we stayed in NZ last time my 10 yr old son missed his mates. My daughter (who was 7) forgot them the minute she stepped on the plane. Hence I can relate to Kat's post - it does get harder the older they get.
Going back in Jan - son will be 11 and he nearly cried when I told him we were going back to NZ...because he knew he would miss his mates. He's much better now, a few weeks on, and really looking forward to going but I know it will be hard. (Maybe knowing that we are going for good this time may make things easier in terms of his commitment to settle, as in making new friends etc.)

Kat, I do feel for you. The big thing that swung my OH to returning to NZ now rather than in 2 or 3 years time was James....and the realisation that this moving around thing is getting no easier. (I didn't need something to convince me to return of course - i stepped onto that UK bound plane at Auckland and KNEW I wanted to come back to NZ). However, my poor old son will now have to start secondary school again as the new boy (he started in UK in Sept.) - another challenge!!!

Chin up Kat, lets hope the summer weather and the greater opportunities it brings also gives your teens a taste of what NZ has to offer!!!

hannah

[nippa&pippa]

Only been in here for 3 weeks but my son missed 'center parcs'!!!!! as well as family like granny etc.
He also missed his 'tumble tots' and his best friends, ellie, mia and aliyah.
my daughter is young but she clearly missed her biscuits as i am struggling to find baby biscuits are egg and milk free!!!!!!!!

[Carol]

Definitely people.....family and friends.

Although as they were only 7 and 4 when we came, I think in the long term (ie the 10 years we have been here) I have suffered more - knowing what they are missing out on as far as extended family is concerned.
:( It has caused me much grief..... and is on-going.
Something I have had to try very very hard to come to terms with.

[StevieD]

to be honest me and Rob have had a hard time since they arrived in September....I cant remember the last time i wasnt depressed!
Aaaah - we having similar problems with the kids, they are that age where they are testing the boundaries, mainly because they tired with the whole emigration lark too. but sure it will be o.k. in the end, you'll be fine.

It is tending to be the youngest who is karping on about missing mates, Kieran cannot wait. We keep telling her that she will make new friends and that she will be fine, but she is coming round now as she has chosen to do a geography project on NZ - a real eye opener for her, and us!

But we expect it will be the main things - family - when we eventually get there.

[katandbob]

I'm so sorry to read this. I know Greenhills (used to live out at West Plains on the other side of the city) It's a beautiful spot, but without transport it can be very isolated.
I loved living in Invercargill, but I admit it's not the most exciting place for teenagers...

But from some of the other posts and your blog I can see that you've been really happy down there, and I just hope the pressure from your kids doesn't put you off completely. Southland needs people like you.

And have fun at the Bert challenge! I have to confess I cried when I watched the film - the opening shot gave me such a burst of homesickness and then on Dvd I kept pausing Oreti beach and telling friends "that's my beach!"

I also pointed out Tim and said "that's my Mayor" - even if he is a wally :)

Keep your chin up


So are you returning to southland? and I try to stop them from depressing me - but its a bit hard!!

oh well - they are demanding tea :exit

[Sam'n'Kelv]

I think Southland has an awful lot to offer and I am very much looking forward to moving there next year. However, the lack of facilities for teenagers is a worry. I guess that regardless of where you settle, teenagers will find life difficult at first and are bound to miss mates back home.

I have a 16 year old son who is reluctant to move across but is willing to give it a go. We have said that he is free to return home if he finds things too tough - by which time he will be 17 / 18. I would of course be very reluctant to see him go, but realise that there comes a time when you have to let them lead their own lives and go their own way. I'm obviously hoping that he will be captivated by NZ and see it as a place that he wants to settle in. In light of this, would Southland be a mistake?

[StevieD]

You know there is a lot to be said for moving with younger children. However, if you can't and have decided to move when the children are older, it is especially difficult. They are finding their feet as young adults (yeah!) and feel that they know everything. I think it is a brave decision for any parent to let their teenager loose in the world without the comfort of their parents within easy reach. However, there comes a time in everybody's life when you need to go on your own - but, you need to be ready.

Can these youngsters cook/iron/clean/manage finances/personal hygiene? Maybe before they are let loose, they should be set tasks to let them see what it is like to survive without mum/dad doing things. It is a good exercise and gives you as parents some respite from the chores :laugh I know of many people who can't do these things as adults. I just glad that my mum taught me all these things (well, apart from the cooking :eek: her cooking sucks! Consists of cremated remains most of the time or stuff burnt in fat) - but that is unfair on my mum really - she is the first to admit she can't cook for toffee, but she taught me to be self sufficient, and that is a valuable thing we can all do for our kids in life.

[katandbob]

well today the said teenager (eldest) wangled me into taking him to town to find a new car (he blew the radiator on his car he bought after arriving - a ford telstar 91 for $999)

so after trawling in high winds around the garages we found a car for $5000....a 95 Holden astra, (I have turned into a weak mum who will do anything for a few minutes peace in the house) then talking to the salesman - cause we have no credit history I would have had to be guarantour!....Jord asked for a breakdown of the costs (on HP you HAVE to have insurance) etc and when he realised that he would be paying $300 in interest for a car he started to change his mind :nice1

So I explained to the salesman that he actually had a car but that he had blew the radiator - what did he do...try sell us the car???? NO he rang his friend who owned a scrap yard..... sourced a radiator (at a good price) and gave us directions! :clap

we got there, got the radiator (at half the quoted price as it had a few fins broke??) so he got his car back on the road for $40 and was happy :cheers

so today was a good day...he is now in town :uhoh at a local house where the kids hang out and party - he has sold his strobe light that I packed from the UK....for a tank of fuel! which he took to the party!!

hopefully he will have a good time, and chill out a bit (every apendage crossed)

but I guess theres not many places where a kid can ride his bike/car in his field (I let them rag one of the fields up on the quad/ trials bike - and he even tried his car!

so I think he realises ...even if its at the back of his mind that he can have fun here!

he just needs to stop having nightmares and get over loosing his girlfriend!

Making friends is the most crucial part of integrating here - and the older they are the harder it is!

Jason starts College in Feb so I guess he will not make any friends till then, but he is a lot more laid back than Jord, so he is easier to deal with...thank god!

so don't get too dishartend by my woes at the minute....I am hopeful that it WILL get better!

but the red wines helping till then!!

ha ha

Kat
x

[Sam'n'Kelv]

We have said that he is free to return home if he finds things too tough - by which time he will be almost 18.
Of course, when I say this, I mean that he is free to return home and live with his aunt or grandmother. I wouldn't dream of letting him loose in the world just yet. He still needs a bit of work on the whole self-sufficiency thing.

Hope the wines not too expensive in NZ. Looks like we might need a drop once we get over there too. :laugh

[Diny]

Can these youngsters cook/iron/clean/manage finances/personal hygiene? .


Of course they can !!!

They may not be able to do it to the standard they get 'at home' but they'll soon learn.

[K&CS]

There's definitely something to be said for starting to teach the kids these things young. I don't think it does them any favours having everything done for them until they leave home at 18! My girls are 7 and 9, and they have jobs to do - they help with the laundry, have to set the table for dinner and clear away afterwards, keep their rooms tidy and make their beds and help with Alex. Just little things, I know, but they'll get more responsibility as they get older - no, I'm not going to use them as my personal slaves (although it's tempting, isn't it?).

Kat, I do feel for you. Hope things improve soon. Sounds like Jordan had a bit of a better day yesterday. I'm not looking forward to the teenage years! Just 4 years to go! Hang in there!

Kate

[wiki]

So are you returning to southland? and I try to stop them from depressing me - but its a bit hard!!

oh well - they are demanding tea :exit

Hi, sorry to take so long to reply, but I've been away.

Yes, I'm hoping to come back to Southland, but I get the feeling my partner is going to like Dunedin and the university jobs on offer, so I might not get such a say. My Dad (formerly In'gill and Te Anau) and brother are in Gore, my sisters in Alex and Dunedin (and Sydney) and apart from the UK and my one year at polytech in Timaru, I've never lived outside Southland.

I love it there, but I do recognise how tough it is for teenagers - you really do have to get out and make the most of what's on offer for yourself.

I guess one of the things that helps is that a lot of kiwis (esp Southlanders)move out on their own around 17/18 for uni or poly or work.

What struck me most when I came to Manchester at the ripe old age of 22 was how many of the guys I were dating still lived with their families. Now it might just have been the sort of guys I went for!, but most couldn't afford to live on their own, and didn't want to rent ... but mostly they didn't want to be away from Mum's cooking, washing and cleaning!

I went to high school in Te Anau and didn't have a choice about flatting from 17-onwards. Te Anau doesn't have a lot of employment options if you're not into hospitality, and there's no higher education there. And to be honest, 99% of the people I went to high school with who stayed in Te Anau after school went flatting rather than stay at home.

I found that flatting from 17 and having to be independent set me up perfectly for coming to the UK on my own five years later. I was 22, but I seemed to have done a lot more "practical" things than my colleagues and friends of the same age.