[sarahw]

Hi Everyone,

I'm sure I'm not alone here, but would appreciate a bit of assurance that I'm not going crazy!

Does everyone else feel like there is just so much to organise that its just so overwhelming??? :?

I'm trying to hand-over my job at work for a month to my replacement (its a very stressful job at the best of times, everyone thinks I'm just ramping down to relax but I'm working more hours than ever!) , organise the visas, removal companies, now found out I need a visitor's visa and partner a work visa as we may not have enough time for PR before we leave - eek!, sell house - no offers - people looking round it would be nice!, sell cars, sell excess furniture & other stuff, chuck out/give to charity old clothes/junk/books etc., arrange leaving ecstatic about (but don't have the time to enjoy it!) but now I've started arranging a wedding in NZ in a year's time because everyone's pushing me for the dates so they can book flights/hotels/special leave etc. Haven't even thought about getting out the Jeyes fluid... :mrgreen: yet to clean everything!!)

I feel so overwhelmed that my mind keeps on going blank and I can't remember what I was doing or supposed to be doing - I even ended up in the wrong pub last night after having arranged to meet a friend after work!!!!! :oops:

Got through the door last night to one of my friends calling & telling me how much I'm going to miss my nephew & niece growing up & how awful its going to be for me, put the phone down & burst into tears.

I started a spreadsheet of tasks to try and make myself feel better yesterday but I ended up just looking at the list and thinking heck! I haven't got time to sit down for 2 minutes before we leave!!!

Am I going crazy or (please tell me) is everyone feeling the same?

[lindajax]

Sarah,

Just take aminute to calm yourself ( couple of prozac and a glass of wine!!)

YES WE ARE ALL FEELING LIKE YOU!!!!!!!

you are not alone with your fears of insurmountable tasks , its normal to think its too big and endeavour and wonder how you'll get through it BUT YOU WILL.

There is a lot to organise but if you need help nows the time to call in favours and delegate jobs to others.

If you need advice post here and you'll get what you need, PM me and if I can help I will.

We go in 6 weeks, gotta be out the house by 3 Dec , Packer coming 30 Nov - lots to do and sort etc but I am confident it'll all work out.

start car booting and thining things down - BE MERCENARY - do you really need some of the things your undecided about.?

As for the wedding thing - if its too much to take on delegate it to the people who are mithering you to organise it!! ( not trying to be mean by that but they need to realise you've got enough on yer plate at the moment!!!)

Speak to your friend and just let her know that you can't handle her being so upset and arrange a 'special' evening for just the two of you to talk about your move and the nephews etc.

As for work SOD IT YOUR LEAVING!!!!!!!!

I know all these thing may sound like I'm being callous but if you read my threads when I've been havig panic attacks about packing etc etc you'll see that you jus have to try to think " I'll manage , I always do and its just gotta be done once!!"

YOU ARE NOT MAD ( and if you are then so am I)

Keep posting and letting us know whats happening and how the forum bods can help.

I hope to see you in NZ all happy and settled saying " all that stress was worth it its fab here"


Love and Thoughts with you

Love Linda xxx

[Moorf]

Can I just add to Linda's fab post.. this is about YOU.. what YOU want and YOUR dream. I can sympathise with your tears re friends/family telling you that you will miss x, y,z - I was made to feel so guilty about leaving behind my neices and nephews, cousins, grandparents etc that I very nearly called the whole thing off... but, when I actually spoke to my grandparents they said they would be mortified if my reason for not following my dream had been them.....

Yep, even the most organised would be overwhelmed with what needs to be done - not only do you have to sort out your house, career, car, possessions you also have to sort out your mind!! It's not easy and it is overwhelming, but believe me.. you WILL get it sorted - take one thing at a time and deal with it, cross it off the list and move on.

If you can't sell the car etc in time then do you have a family member or friend that you trust to sell it on your behalf?

Xmas isn't the best time of year to sell a house - could you rent it out for a bit or do you really need the capital?

Don't let others pressurise you into getting your weddding sorted - jeez, it took 18 months of planning for ours :eek - do you definitaly need to get married so soon after arrival - could it wait whilst you sort out your life in NZ?

Just my thoughts hon,
It will work out,
All the best
Moorf

[andersonclan]

Sorry to say - but it is really reassuring to know other people feel the same way!

At the moment we're trying to sell the house with the estate agent from hell - customer service is just not in their vocabulary! We choose them because they're part of a solicitors office and the solicitor offered us discount on estate agency fees, conveyancing and any NZ legal work free of charge! - it seemed like a good idea at the time - Hubby's convinced they know someone who's interested and are putting people off so we'll lower the price - it's been on the market 5 weeks - 5 viewers - 1 for a nosey, 2 thought it was a bungalow and 1 who was interested and was going to come back but no show - and guess what - they haven't got hold of her to find out why! - in spite many reminders from me. They're now suggesting we lower the price! However, as we're still waiting for ITA to arrive and no job offer yet - we'll probably take it off the market over Christmas and put it back on with someone else after the hoidays.

Some days you just wonder what you're doing - could really do without all the hassle and waiting around - I HATE WAITING!!

It's holding sight of that end goal that's really important.

I did psychometric tests a few weeks ago for a job in NZ (didn't get it) and the results indicated I was some sort of manic thing running around like a headless chicken - and that's not me! So I made a conscious decision to slow down - I've read a book (no time for that for months) I make an effort to check TV schedules and make sure I sit and watch something - so I'm not running around nagging the kids about tidying up, etc, etc and I think its working. I'm the world's worse at this - but do make time for yourself - treat yourself to a massage that hour will be a good investment in the long run!

GO to bed early - you get your best sleep before midnight and are probably better able early morning (it's amazing what you can get done getting up an hour earlier). Make a list and make sure there are things on it that you can tick off every day - it feels good seeing the ticks there

AND GOOD LUCK - you know you're doing the right thing

[Moorf]

Hi Andersonclan - bit of a sidetrack here but is your property advertised on ESPC - we sold ours (okay, was back in April) v. quickly as our agent (Green Towns based in Auchterader) put it on ESPC (or GSPC if you are West coast).

Moorf

[Dave & Sandra]

Sarah

Been there, done all that - but I did it totally alone as Dave had already come to NZ and we were apart for 4 months. You CAN do it - it all seems so overwhelming at the time, I know I felt as though I was sinking at times and still working full time while I was doing it all and work was very stressful during the whole thing as we had just taken over a new company and I had to stand in for my boss while she spent all of her time at the new company, also had the cat to ship out as well. I put the house on the market a month after Dave had been here, just in case he hated his job and NZ :?

Lists are good, spreadsheets are good. Every time you tick something off it's like a major achievement :yes

But I'm here now and I can be proud to say that I did it completely unaided - apart from my dear old Dad who helped me move out of the house on completion date.

Things get done and stuff gets sorted. Just take it bit by bit. Don't look at the whole picture but just what has to be done today. Prioritise, concentrate on the things that have to be done and make a diary of when they have to be done by.

Most of all DON"T PANIC as 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' said. I had a few panicky moments but they are soon overcome by getting on with it.

Good luck - stay calm.

Sandra

[leslie]

a couple years ago an estate agent rang us to ask if they could bring an 80-year old downsizer to see our flat, with its minimalist design, 12' high built-in cupboards etc. we sacked them on the spot and no more agents. bunchaidiots - bet your average 7 year old would do better.

that said ... it will all be worth it in the end. and its not all bad - we could be that guy in 'touching the void'.

[Diny]

I love posts like this !!

Not that I'm taking any delight in anybody's misery .... it's just that after reading them I walk away from the pc feeling strangely relieved. Thank you for confirming that .....

I'M NOT THE HORMONAL WITCH MOTHER CRAZY WIFE FROM HELL THAT I THOUGHT I WAS.

Overwhelming at times could be classed as an understatement. Although I've never been a woman to quietly merge into the background, I feel my moods, actions and persona of late has taken on the similarities of a charging rhino.

There's just too much to think about - too much to do !!

Like Sandra, I'm left to do it all by myself 'cos PB works away. Guess it's not such a bad thing really, at least I know that I'm in control of the check list of 'things to do' ... no incidents of he thought I'd done it, I thought he'd done and then finding out (at the last moment) that we've both stuffed up.

Tell you something else that I find strange about me too ........ I'm suffering from 'angel bitch yoyo syndrome' (from here on I'll call it ABYS). One moment I'm the sweetest smiling lady you could wish to meet, a nanno second later ... jeeze the teeth are baring, top lip curled back and everybody within a 50 yard radius is a moronic child of unmarried parents !!!! At the blink of an eye I'm back to lovely again.

PB would argue that I'm always like that but he's not brave enough to say so to my face.

Thumb your nose to those who try to land a guilt trip on you. Of course they'll miss you - you'll miss them - but flights are getting more affordable and the world is getting smaller. This is about you and your immediate family. I sometimes feel very selfish for what we're doing .... and I know that's stupid of me.

My folks think along the same as Moorf's nan. They'll miss me like crazy but if they ever thought our plans were cancelled because of them they'd be mortified.

OK ..... back to work ....... some swine just walked past our house and dared look at my dirty car .... I'm not in the mood for that ......I'm gonna go and get him before he moves out of my 50 yard radius !!!!!!!!

Diny

[sarahw]

Thanks guys for the support,

Anderson Clan - I hope your house sells soon - we've only had 3 people to look around in 4 weeks but nothing... (guess 4 weeks is not very long compared with some of you). We signed up to 7 weeks with the estate agent but are very close to canning him right now (leslie you're spot on about kids being able to do a better job than some estate agents!).

Moorf thanks for your suggestions - the idea about friends/family selling the car is a good one.

Lindajax - your comment about work really made me laugh! :laugh Yes I guess I'm just so used to being relied upon here - after all it doesn't really matter & I'm about to offload a load more work as from Monday to my replacement rather than finishing it before giving it to her :cool

Thanks Sandra - I appreciate how difficult it must have been for you on your own trying to tie up loose ends - made me feel better about my situation - at least Ian can take on some of the legwork and get some of the quotes in.

Dinny - I can realy relate to the personality change - I'm on edge the whole time and I'm driving poor Ian crazy by starting conversations on documents, organising stuff even when we're just on the way to bed. As for Angel bitch yoyo syndrome - yup - got that too!

I really don't think we'd have got as far as we have in as little time as we have without this forum - whoever's idea it was to launch this forum I salute you! :typing

Right its Friday and I think I have a lovely bottle of Montana in the fridge waiting for me when I get home - going to take it easy tonight!

[anita]

Great post :nice1 :nice1

Babette pm me to take a look at this post as i have been going crazy lately and haven't had time to devote to the forum.

I cannot explain how i feel ,but you all understand.The `overwhelming` feeling that there is so much to do and so little time,i feel like a headless chicken!!!

Because we are leaving everyone wants to catch the last few times with us and we are so booked up trying to catch up with everyone there is no time to think.

Sometimes when i think we have only got 5 weeks left it doesn't feel like reality.It is though it is happening to someone else

The house has an offer on it but i cannot believe it until we sign it over, the usual moving house paranoia magnified a 100 times because we are desparate to get it sorted before we go on the 1stJan.

So i am only normal then :eek
Thanks
Anita

[jo b]

Hi Everyone,

I feel so overwhelmed that my mind keeps on going blank and I can't remember what I was doing or supposed to be doing - I even ended up in the wrong pub last night after having arranged to meet a friend after work!!!!! :oops:


Am I going crazy or (please tell me) is everyone feeling the same?

Saah,

I echo everything everyone has said so I am not going to repeat it.

But what made me laugh was this bit were your mind goes blank.

God my mind goes blank all the time :eek and we are no where near going yet. I think when the time comes they will cart me off to the Asylum :laugh

Chin up girl it takes one step at a time to climb a mountain

cheers

Jo

[Diny]

Anita

We wondered where you'd got to. Kind of guessed that the madness of moving had finally got to you ....... was half expecting to find you huddled in a corner, rambling about the price of hard boiled eggs, rocking back and forth, dribbling and chewing a hankie ......... oh - so it's just me who does that :oops:

Can only imagine what you're going through, God help everybody around here when it's our turn to leave - might be a good idea to set up a 20 mile exclusion zone.

Just keep on keeping on and remember that screaming abuse at anybody who makes eye contact with you is perfectly natural - in fact it's essential.

Keep us posted.

Diny

[veronica]

We all cope different but the way I coped with packing up the business and getting over here was to make a list and keep nibbling away at it. Certain of the tasks were Petes responsibility so I ignored them, and I tried very hard to just block all the thoughts about things that were out of my control so I could concentrate on what I needed to do.
Its easy to waste a lot of energy and increase stress levels on stuff that belongs in the 'what if' box., so if you can sort those thoughts out and shunt them aside to deal if they arise then you can save yourself some unneccessary grief.

[Lil]

Another headless chicken here too, believe me it's no better having the DH to hand, I can vouch for that. When things need sorting and you want them done NOW there's only one person to do it, you know the old expression "ask a busy person and all that". My DH will just arrive in NZ with his suitcase not having filled in a single form or even made phone call and think he's done a fabulous job, while I've been the one running around like a looney for weeks on end making it all happen. But, then again I'm like that, I quite enjoy the challenge and it doesn't bother me too much, at least I will have the satisfaction of knowing things have been done properly.

Veronica, you are so right there I just block out most of the stuff that I can't do owt about. I'm not even interested at present on what will happen when we get to NZ, I'm not wasting time looking at houses and stuff, that's for another day and I certainly wouldn't be pressured into organising a wedding for other folks benefit. My focus at present is just getting us out of this house and I'll deal with the next bit when it comes. Bring it on..

I do wonder though, how many people actually do just get overcome with it all and give up. I certainly think it takes a strong character to get through this and don't really think that there could be anything harder that life could throw at you in the future.

Keep at it loves your doing a grand job - either that or we'll all wind up in the same Mental Institution. Failed Emigrees Over the Cuckoos Nest anyone?

[kamus]

yes

[Diny]

Lil

Your comment about "at least I'll know things have been done properly".

That cracked me up ..... but you are so right :nice1

Also the bit about DH arriving in NZ thinking he's done a grand job.

I'm starting to think that DH and PB are the same person.

Diny

[anita]

Hi Diny

I have gone half crazy,the added problem aswell is xmas :eek

Been trying to get the kids things that will fit in flight bag as belongings go on 19th dec. :roll:

Santa is having to be careful this year ;)

Anita

[westie]

please please dont feel that your alone in this. I have been fortunate enough to have finished work a month ago and we are due to fly out on the 3rd and I have felt sick with anxiety at times. Try to keep your focus on all the positive things you are trying to reach.

I have found that our friends and family have peaks and troughs of getting upset about us leaving, but thats because they love us so much. The phone and the web make things much more accessible now. We have friends in Auckland who have been over for 5 years and we have kept in close contact via email and the phone.

[Diny]

Anita

I know what you mean about Christmas ..... my kids just don't seem to grasp the fact that they can't have a present that measures more than
6" x 6" and weighs less than 12 oz. Thankfully they've both opted for a Gameboy. The right size and will prove very handy when travelling.

Sods law says that you will pack everything in the container which will leave on 19th. On the morning of 20th you'll realise you can't live without a certain item that was in one of the first boxes to be packed.

As long as you have passports, tickets, clean knickers, mascara & lippy, credit cards and hair dryer you'll be fine until you and your 'stuff' are re-united. Oh yeah - and a few prozac too.

PM if you need any help.

Diny

[Sarah Jane]

Hi Sarah
Well I agree with all that we are all feeling the same as you....we're flying on 31st Decmber, and as for my job I'm a secretary/ bookkeeper for a small accountants firm here by the seaside in Devon and I've been desperately trying to find a replacement for my job since we applied to go to NZ in Sept.....as for anyone applying ....Nope. I'm going to feel really bad because my boss is brilliant, (he'as an Aussie and is going back there in around 3 years) but it won't stop me going and starting my new life. It's stressful but at the end of the day it's my and my familys life and they come first. As for other stresses I think the biggest one is the pysical moveing so we've got several estimaters coming round next week....hopefully by the following week that shall be sorted and we wont have to worry (we've already got rid of most rubbish that we don't want to take with us....just some ...alright a few...personal effects I have to sort)
We've (fingers crossed) found a house via the UK2NZ chat board who has a house to rent so that will take a little heat off cos we've done our homework via books etc and pretty much know where we would like to live.
But then I'm probably nuts and come the last week I'll be running round like and headless and footless chicken....

but I'm sure you won't and it will all fall into place as it will with all of us when we eventually make the move.....

[shagen]

I am sure when the time comes, everything will fall in place and that last piece of the puzzle will fit snugly where it rightfully belongs. But for now, it just looks like a complete mess!

Our biggest worry are all those "what ifs" which we do not have an answer to. What if the ITA doesn't get approved? What if I do not get a job? What if our stuff doesn't arrive? What if we dont like it there? So many questions, so many uncertainties and so little within our control!

But then, all the posts here make us think that if others can make it so can we. And all the encouragements we see here more than makes up for whatever negatives still lurking in our minds.

Sarah, you are not alone. Each and everyone of us go through the exact same thing... Hang in there! We will see you in New Zealand!

Cheers,

[sarahw]

Thanks guys - so relieved that I'm not alone here & its good to hear other people's stories - I really sympathise with those who have kids & are having to cut back on the pressies (or the size of them!) this year - that must be hard.

As for Xmas shopping this year - that was easy (everyone's got a webcam, a fax machine, or an address book this year!) :nice1

The advice about work was good - I've decided that instead of finishing everything I'm just going to hand it over as is and tough! :mrgreen:

[andersonclan]

I'm going to write a new alternative book to Stepford Wives - titled New Zealand Husbands - they must all be clones! - I love the arriving in New Zealand thinking they've done a good job! Absolute classic and spot on! (No wonder the gap is narrowing between male and femal average life expectancy!)

Moorf - are using GSPC - but convinced we picked the wrong solicitor - keeps telling us the house is overvalued - but for what she says its worth you'd only get a bog standard Wimpey - and ours is definitely not that - told us today they'd received an offer (from someone who hadn't viewed) £50,000 under the asking price! Now I have a sense of humour but that's pusahing the limits.

We'll probably take it off over the holidays and put it back on in the new year with someone new.

I have to say this chat room must be putting therapists out of business - it's really good for you soul logging on here!

[Diny]

Anderson

Have you tried selling the house privately? We're in the same position as you. We're just waiting for the darn house to sell (we had planned on being in NZ for Christmas - no chance now). :no

We took ours off the market about 3 weeks ago. Then we immediately put it up for sale with a crowd called The Little House Company.

OK - so it hasn't sold yet, but we've had far more interest since we put it on the internet than we had after the first week with the local agent.

The address is: www.thelittlehousecompany.co.uk

Ours if ref 04926 if you want to have a look (I know you don't want to buy it but it will give you an idea of how an ad looks on-line).

Cost us 125.00 - one off price. We actually bought one of their for sale signs too (cost 30.00). But that's it. Nothing else to pay and the ad stays on until the property is sold or you withdraw it.

The best bit ...... no percentage of the sale price going to an agent who put 2 ads in a local paper and a blurred photo in his shop window. He was planning on charging us 4000 :eek

Worth a try anyway - nothing ventured - nothing gained.

The house market is getting me down .... as if I haven't got enough to worry about eh.

All the best to you and every other poor sod in the 'somebody buy my house' club.

Diny