[Sam B]

Just had weekend away in medieval farmhouse in Devon with 12 good friends. Tearful goodbyes at the end, which I was dreading all the time. 2 more leaving dos to go, both to do with work, but I'm dreading them. I'm finding goodbyes really hard.

I think the thing is, for each person saying goodbye to me, they are only having to say 1 goodbye, so they can throw themselves into it! However, every day is full of last times for me, and I'm emotionally exhausted. I'd rather bury my head in the sand and just not see anyone for the last time...

Anyone else share this experience?

Sam

[Kim39]

Sam, can't say we really had a full on emotional time before we flew. Yes there were tears, but i would probably say that things were a little reserved in that dept'. You will go through many emotions over the coming time period before you leave, and beyond that also, i'm afraid to say, but take it in your stride, make the most of YOU being the centre of attention, but most importantly never say goodbye, but see ya later. It helps a lot:yes Not only for you but for those close to you. Remember you are only a day away from what some of us still call home.

Good luck with those two other parties;)

Kim

[willowshouse]

I agree with Kim .. 'goodbye' is a much harder thing to say than 'see you soon'.

I got as many people as had computers to buy a webcam (£20) and said 'see you on skype' plus we arranged to come back to England within a year so I could say 'see you next summer'.

For people at school who I used to see and chat with every morning and afternoon I never actually told them the last time I would see them .. they kept saying 'will we see you again?' - I think because they wanted to know the right time to say a 'proper' goodbye. I just skirted it with 'oh, I'll be around'. You see it's easier for them to say goodbye to one person, especially if they are just a friend (not a really good friend if you know what I mean!) - it's much harder for you because you are saying goodbye to so many and every one of them will remind you that you are leaving all of them (does that make sense?).

Be kind to yourself and if necessary do what I did and switch off! Denial is great!!!

Best of luck through this yo-yo time,
Dawn

[gil]

Hi Sam,
I was emotionally drained by the time we actually got into the taxi that wet Friday afternoon in November last year; some people really surprised me, such as people I only knew to say hello to at the school coming to wave us off, and my best friend of 35 years who is soooooo cool and reserved bursting into tears on me. I cried buckets when I read what sh'e written in her card :wah and the memory of it is making me well up even now...

It IS hard, but it's part of what we've all been in the throes of creating, making a new life in another place.

We keep in touch with everyone we want to, and no longer feel constrained by the social niceties of having to meet/greet and visit people we don't!

Good luck with the remaining parties,
Take care,

Gil

[Mexican in NZ]

Hi there!
It was so hard for me too!!
In mexico family unity is super important so important that my grandpa did a whole block of houses just for the family to be living together.
Saying goodbye to my friends and family was really devastating more because we had just suffered the loss of my grandpa and one of my uncles.
But as my grandma said u follow your love ur heart and u will always be happy, you will miss the family but now thanks to technology we have more ways to keep in contact and is so easy u will never feel alone.
Ok,
Hope ur transition to Nz comes smoothly and wish you the best!
God Bless,
Adriana

[The Hodges]

Be kind to yourself and if necessary do what I did and switch off! Denial is great!!!

We've got all that to come and this sound like a plan. I've got my work one and the family & friends one to come, both yet to organise. Neither of which I'm looking forward to.

Good luck for everyone in the same boat and fingers crossed that they aren't exhausting.

[Sam B]

Thanks for your support everyone. I'm now in full denial mode.

It would help if my bloody, bloody Dad wasn't so completely insistant that he will absolutely NOT get a computer or go on the internet!!!

[Sam B]

Just read the rules bit, and am not sure that a BBc newsreader would say bloody unless referring to an injury. Have wracked brains, but cannot think of any other word to describe my Dad. Sorry.

[willowshouse]

Thanks for your support everyone. I'm now in full denial mode.

It would help if my bloody, bloody Dad wasn't so completely insistant that he will absolutely NOT get a computer or go on the internet!!!

When I told my Mum and Dad I was going to NZ I also told them that they would be using the internet and speaking to me on a web-cam ... they laughed as neither one can even type never mind use a computer. I think if I had just asked them to they maybe wouldn't have bothered but I bought the laptop, got them broadband, set the whole thing up and then taught them how to use it - it isn't easy and we had a fair bit of frustration on both sides but it's worth it now. Definitely in my parent's case, if they knew how great it was going to be in the beginning they would have welcomed it instead of just laughing at me.

Now, the other side of the coin are my in-laws. My MIL was very upset we were leaving and we couldn't bring up anything about NZ before we left so it was impossible to talk about skype/webcams etc. However, now we are here my OH has been able to encourage all of his family to get webcams by saying how great it is speaking to my Mum and Dad and slowly but surely they are coming round. My in-laws are in their 80's so it's even harder for them but it just shows you what you can achieve when you assume the 'dog with a bone' stance.

Good luck with it - you'll find a way!

Dawn

[thepiesleys]

Just read the rules bit, and am not sure that a BBc newsreader would say bloody unless referring to an injury. Have wracked brains, but cannot think of any other word to describe my Dad. Sorry.

Sam - a Kiwi news reader might - take solace in that.

I cried like a baby on the bus home from my work leaving do - I was very drunk and kept reading the card. They then 'sprang' another leaving do on me which was even harder.

The party we had were we live was raucous I can barely remember a thing. The day we left, that was a very starnge experience. Sue's parents were very very upset which really upset the kids. We went with the 'line' of we will see you soon.

A difficult hurdle in the whole process but one that has to be negated in any way you can. I tried to enjoy myself as much as possible.

Dan

[Sam B]

I'm definitely losing it. Just had 2nd leaving do (at the Sure Start that I work at). It consisted of me sitting crying big wracking sobs with head in hands, while gathered co workers looked on in alarm. I wanted to tell them that it wasn't just about leaving Sure Start, but about leaving all friends, Cornwall, house, familiarity plus bein scared, but I was gulping too much. VERY EMBARRASSING!!! Last one is tomorrow - all the speech and language therapists in Cornwall, some very close friends. Oh dear...

[Kim39]

Don't feel embarrased about, as you put it "LOSING IT" this is part and parcel of the process. If you didn't show any sort of emotion people would begin to think, jeeze she's a hard @^*~> Its normal lass, and you may as well enjoy the attention that this type of emotion brings. So good luck with your last one:nice1


Kim

[Sam B]

3rd one so much better - enjoyed it! I love speech and language therapists - they always know what to say to make awkward social situations work (wanderingoregonian will know what I mean). We all laughed and cried and my pressies were lovely. All done now, just my Dad to say goodbye to at airport. Gulp!

[Ana&Steve]

Good luck with everything! Take comfort that there are many supportive (and envious :D) people out there cheering you on!
Ana