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Moorf
Future NZ Guru
Joined: 06 Mar 2004
Posts: 705
Location: West Sussex, UK
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Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 6:55 am Post subject: |
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 no-one commenting on crabs? |
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david
I'll Hang Around A Little
Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Posts: 25
Location: yorkshire,England
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Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 7:12 am Post subject: |
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Non brewed condiment is similar to Sarsons, dark and excellent for pickled onions, beetroot etc.. A must with shellfish. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Non brewed condiment   |
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karltsmith
Moderator
Joined: 26 Nov 2003
Posts: 570
Location: North Shore, Auckland since March 2004
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Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 9:06 am Post subject: |
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THE FISH SHOP SKETCH
I was perusing the non-fiction section of thr Greater Thursdon St public library for a novel on CRABS by A J Warhole esquire when I became...esurient...nay...peckish. So I curtailed my Warholing activities and bid a hasty retreat to your boutique in search of some aquatic comestibles!
Pardon Sir?
EEEE Lad...I was all ungry like
Oh I see! Welcome to the National Fish Emporium Sir!
Thank you my good man. Four ounces of your finest WHELKS if you please!
Certainly sir.......oooh...sorry..we sold the last portion just before you came in!
Never mind perhaps a nice large CRAB then
Sorry sir CRABS are only available on a Friday!
No matter...bring for the Fruits de le mer de belle France!
Pardon Sir?
LANGUSTINE (no mention of these yet either)
They're a bit smelly sir!
Oh I like them smelly!
I think they're a bit more smelly than you would like sir!
Look I don't care how smelly they are!
OK sir but i did warn you....oooo the cats run off with them!!!
You do have some fish do you?
Yes Sir! This is the National Fish Emporium!
By what system of logic can one discern that this is a fish shop?
it's very clean sir!
Well...it certainly isn't contaminated by fish is it?
I'll have some PRAWNS then!
We don't sell PRAWNS sir!
You don't sell prawns....but prawns are singularly the most popular shell fish in the world!
Not in these parts sir!
Tell me..what is the most popular fish in these parts?
SEA CUCUMBER sir!!
SEA CUCUMBER eh? OK I'll give it a go...One SEA CUCUMBER then my good man, he said expecting the answer no!
I'm afraid they're not due in until this afternoon sir!
Quelle suprise.......OK OK...
TURBOT?
NO!
GROUPER?
NO!
COD, HERRING, WINKLES, PIPIS, RAZOR SHELL, SPIDER CRAB, SEA SLUG, STAR FISH, CELOCANTH?
NO!
You don't have any fish do you?
No sir!
Well I'm afraid I'm going to have to shoot you them.....(BANG)...what a sensless waste of human life!
FOOTNOTE:
NOW: DO YOU SEE WHERE THIS WILL ALL END!!!  |
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Moorf
Future NZ Guru
Joined: 06 Mar 2004
Posts: 705
Location: West Sussex, UK
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Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 9:35 am Post subject: |
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 I'll have half of what you are smoking please!!! |
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Timbo
Thoroughly Good Egg
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 290
Location: Epsom England
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Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2004 11:43 pm Post subject: |
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Sounds to me like there is a potential series in there somewhere.
Now where did I put Mr Cleese`s telephone number?
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david
I'll Hang Around A Little
Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Posts: 25
Location: yorkshire,England
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Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 1:03 am Post subject: |
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| While the talk is on silly topics could anybody pacify my 3 children on the availability of podded peas and broad beans. Also Lions midget gems and Hammonds chop sauce. |
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Moorf
Future NZ Guru
Joined: 06 Mar 2004
Posts: 705
Location: West Sussex, UK
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Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 1:12 am Post subject: |
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| You mean your kids WANT peas and beans?!?!?! Don't they want to know about McDs and Burger King?! |
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david
I'll Hang Around A Little
Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Posts: 25
Location: yorkshire,England
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Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 1:49 am Post subject: |
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| Nope Moorf. Strange but they love raw podded peas and raw broad beans. Must be something in the Yorkshire air. Just dreaming now of nice big house in NZ with row upon row of broad beans and peas in the garden. The midget gems are my wife's favourites and I like chop sauce with everything. Strange family eh !!!!! |
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Timbo
Thoroughly Good Egg
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 290
Location: Epsom England
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Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 2:37 am Post subject: |
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| thers nowt stranger than folk eh lad. |
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Moorf
Future NZ Guru
Joined: 06 Mar 2004
Posts: 705
Location: West Sussex, UK
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Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 1:20 am Post subject: |
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| Sea Cucumber a la broad beans with a confit of midget gems topped with chop sauce.... hmmmm |
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michelle
Valued Member
Joined: 12 May 2004
Posts: 208
Location: Leeds
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Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 5:56 am Post subject: |
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| And a dash of non brewed condiment to taste. |
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david
I'll Hang Around A Little
Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Posts: 25
Location: yorkshire,England
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Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 6:24 am Post subject: |
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| Ahhhh . Twood be a meal fit for a king. |
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