family matters

lesly · Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2004 3:59 am Post subject: family matters

Hi everyone,

What does your family think about your plans?

When we told them, they all looked at us as if we were aliens!!! We are now officially declared lunatics. Clapping

My mother is going nuts and refuses to believe that we are actually going to leave, maybe it's because I am an only child?
We consider of giving her a webcam as farewell gift, but she hasn't touched a computer in her entire life!
Any suggestions to ease the pain? What should we do with "out of control familymembers"??

Cheers, Lesly

JCM · Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 12:31 pm Post subject:

Hi lesly,

Robert posted his thoughts about relatives here:

http://emigratenz.org/community/viewtopic.php?t=56

I think leaving loved ones is the hardest part of emigrating.

Is there any chance of pursuading any of your relatives to consider coming to NZ also? Maybe after they've visited you in NZ you they will want to follow you here permanently.

lesly · Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:05 pm Post subject:

Hi JCM, thanks for the answer,

I've read Roberts post and found a lot of stuff I can use to set my mother at ease, but I don't think she would follow us to NZ. She 's kind of conservative, but maybe that will change once we leave. Yes

I find it sad though, that we don't get any familysupport.
That makes it even more difficult than it already is!

Thanks again!
Lesly

veronica · Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:07 pm Post subject: family

29 years ago we lived away from our families for 6 1/2 years and it is hard especially once you have kids. the reaction we got from our families was mixed. my mum in law didn't talk to me for 6 months after we announced our plans but we worked it out eventually. My mum and dad were naturally sad but very supportive. They could never afford to come out and visit us unfortunately because that would have made it a lot easier.
Now most people can afford the fares and overseas travel is much more common, deals on international phone calls make that more of an option and for people who are computor literate emails and things like instant messanger are great.
We are again in the process of getting ready to up and move to NZ this time and now my parents are in their late 70s so it is even harder, but as my dad said when we told him what we were planning "we should have all done it years ago".
When I think of the number of people we have said goodbye to and not expected to see again, only to meet up with them at some other time (and not always by design at that) it makes you realise just how small the world really is. Don't know if this helps anyone.
cheers Veronica

veronica · Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:26 pm Post subject: family

p.s. to the last bit. on the humourous side I think that my mum was more upset when I said we were taking the dogs. I think she thought she might inherit them as she always has them when we go away. The plus side of this is that I intend to use them as bait to persuade her to visit us. Veronica

lesly · Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:47 pm Post subject:

Hi Veronica,

My mum got furious when I said that our dog had to do a 30 day quarantine. She thinks I'm a dog executioner now! Nutcase

I 'm scared, she' s really able to kidnap our dog to save him !!!!

karltsmith · Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 9:55 pm Post subject:

A friend of mine had the news all of us potential migrants dread.......His mother died suddenly just before Christmas and was buried in the UK on Christmas Eve day. Last year she did visit NZ and loved it which was one saving grace! I suppose its a harsh reality that some day this is going to happen to all of us....wherever we are in the world! Of cousre it would be wonderful to take loved ones with us but sadly its not always possible!

The best thing you can do is encourage them to come over at least on a long holiday. For our part we are subsidising our parents airfare once a year to come out on long holidays.

We have 2 year old twin daughters and mothers in their late 60's/early 70's and parting will be oh so difficult!!!!!!

Charlotte · I Like It Here Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 70

That's really sad, Karl.

My mother was at first furious when we broke the news to her that we will be going to NZ. She swore she wouldn't even visit.

Now that it looks like we really *are* moving, she has decided that she will come over with us. She doesn't want to be seperated from her grandson, he's her 'whole world'.

Now the only trouble is, how to work out her immigration.

karltsmith · Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 10:54 pm Post subject:

Hi Charlotte

It's great that you could convince her to come out with you...I hope it works out for you. Is your Mum your only other family member??? Are you submitting her application along with yours?

Charlotte · I Like It Here Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 70

Hi Karl,

I wish we could submit my mum's application with ours, but there doesn't appear to be an appropriate category for her.

I plan to get a student permit, so that I can complete my masters in psychology, and apply for work after that. My husband and son can come in on: 'Partners and Dependent Children Of Student and Work Visa or Permit Holders'. However, I think my mum can only get a regular visitors visa - which is only valid for 12 months at a time, so she will probably have to return to the UK, before we can finally work out her status in NZ.

I'd prefer to have her remain with us, because she is quite old, and I worry about her on the plane and stuff.

My mum and dad are divorced, so she really is attatched to us (especially our son). My dad will probably visit for weeks at a time, but I doubt he will try and live in NZ. He's quite happy in Geneva.

My husband's mum is somewhat upset that we're all leaving - but she has her own life, her friends and interests in Wiltshire. She also has an 18 year old son still living with her, so she's quite busy. Most likely she will visit as well.

I read in another post that you're headed over to NZ in March? Good luck to you! Do you have an offer of employment?

karltsmith · Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:37 pm Post subject:

Its a complicated life isn't it I'm sure we all have a tale to tell....

My wife was offered a job in November last year just as the general skills category closed.....bummer, so we have had to wait for the skilled migrant category to open. Luckily its a really patient employer who is prepared to wait for her. I currently work and we will be swapping roles for a few months while the twins and my wife settle into NZ. I then plan to find a position in about 6 months time. I may start my own business but its early days yet!
Nice One

Charlotte · I Like It Here Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 70

Starting a family business in NZ would be a dream come true for us.

Congrats to your wife for landing a job! Best of luck to you, and your family. Nice One